Monday, May 4, 2009

15 Euphemisms For Menstruation

My favorite is #5.


15. Miss Scarlett's Come Home to Tara

14. Trolling for Vampires

13. A Dishonorable Discharge from the Uterine Navy

12. Saddling Old Rusty

11. Feelin' Menstru-riffic!

10. Clean-Up in Aisle One

9. Massacre at the Y

8. T-Minus 9 Months and Holding

7. Game Day for the Crimson Tide

6. Panty Shields Up, Captain!

5. Taking Carrie to the Prom

4. Playing Banjo in Sgt. Zygote's Ragtime Band

3. Ordering l'Omelette Rouge

2. Arts and Crafts Week at Panty Camp

1. Rebooting the Ovarian Operating System


  1. Riding the cotton pony.


  2. My favorite... Shark Week.

  3. I hate it when guys try to be all delicate with it and call it "on her cycle". I usually just say On The Rag, but I might have to start taking Carrie to the prom. That's fuckin awesome.

  4. Who the heck made these up??

    I usually just say, I'm donating blood for the next week, so piss off. Right before I mate with them and bite their heads off.

  5. Shark Week. Nice.

    We should make up some of our own.

  6. LMAO Who the hell uses these?

    OT-Love the t-shirt of the day. El Duderino.

  7. Hubby has always called it Red Week.

  8. "Rebooting the Ovarian Operating System" is my what I'm calling it from now on. Love.

  9. The ones I've heard are food related which are really gross, but anyway:

    "Serving tacos with extra sauce"


    "Serving the Chili Dog Special"

    Cherries Jubilee Week


  10. canoing the red sea.

    -helen reddy on tour?1? ha!

    -shark week is too funny.

  11. I call it "Get the F out of my way week".

  12. With a nod to my home state of Joklahoma: Taking the tuna boat down the Red River.

  13. My favorites, just on cleverness, are #15, #14, and #9, with an honorable mention for #1. Boo for #3, which mixes up an image of blood or any other bodily fluid with delicious food. Boo!

    Anyhoo... at least these are all clearly something. In Korean, the delicate euphemism for one's time of the month is that a friend is visiting, which can lead to incredible awkwardness and embarrassment when your girlfriend, wife, sister, or mother is describing their actual friend visiting.

    Really, I don't think they thought that one through.

  14. I always use out of commission this week, lol

  15. There was also Red Sails in the Sunset or Red Flags in the Sunset for 'women's business' at 'that time of month'. Shortened to Red Flags/Red Sails or Got the Flags out.

    Or an ex- of mine used to simply say 'going the red'. She did tell me of a boyfriend who wanted to 'go the brown when she was going the red' but I didn't really need to know that.

    One tip, fellas, I wouldn't suggest using King Arthur's line 'What are you going to do - bleed on me' to a lady friend at that time of month.

  16. rebooting the OOS will be my new one too! Hilarious!

    I always say to Hubby, "it's my Woman's time" but in a southern voice and I make sure to fan myself with my hand for emphasis.

    He hates it...

  17. These are awesome!

    We usually refer to it as "Closed for Construction". It should be "Demolition" - that's what it really is, isn't it?

    I may need to start using the OOS since that is more in tune with Hubby's vocab.

    Oh, yah & I've also heard "Volcanic Meltdown" - an appropriate two-fold description covering the "event" itself & the attitude that accompanies it.

  18. omg I LOVE that last one. And will have to start using it because I can't stop laughing.

  19. I am so glad that I have been "spade" and don't have to call it anything any more!

  20. Using Dracula's tea bag...

  21. I used to always use "riding the cotton pony", but now that I've seen it, and happen to be a girl gamer (we don't really exist on the interwebz, or so I've been told), from now on. I'll be using ROOS. lol!



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