Friday, March 20, 2009

Mr. Skin's Top 20 Nude Scenes Of 2008

A little late, but nudity is timeless. No, there are no pics or clips, sorry. You're on your own with those. I haven't even heard of half these ladies, but the blurbs crack me up. Mr. Skin is definitely writing for his audience (i.e. 98% dudes).

From Mr. Skin.


1. Mischa Barton (Closing the Ring)

Mischa Barton not only goes topless 26 minutes into this World War II drama, but at the 34-minute mark, the O.C. hottie bares T&A. Mischa’s nude scenes are luscious, lengthy and brightly lit, so they’re guaranteed to turn you into a Barton fink!

2. Sophie Monk (Sex and Death 101)

Sex and Death 101 would be nudesworthy just for the first-time intentional toplessness of Winona Ryder. But Australian chanteuse Sophie Monk steals the show by brilliantly baring boobs and butt in a bathroom. You’ll be flush with arousal.

3. Heather Graham (Adrift in Manhattan)

Over the past few years, golden girl Heather Graham has come to be one of our most reliably in-the-raw show-business figures. Adrift in Manhattan is rear-markable for a doggie-style sex scene that can only be described as ass-tonishing.

4. Asia Argento (The Last Mistress)

Goth goddess Asia Argento continues to T&Amaze. Every time we think this Italian kink diva has gone as far as she can, Asia astounds anew. Case in point(s): her post-pregnancy boobs, fluffy muff, and sweet seat in a powerful pole-riding performance in The Last Mistress.

5. Neve Campbell (I Really Hate My Job)

As a put-upon waitress, Neve strips nude in a crowded restaurant, serving up her taut butt and topless Campbell’s soup cans (complete with adorably inverted nipples).

6. Anna Faris (The House Bunny)

Funny and foxy go hand-in-gland in the case of Anna Faris, who broke through to A-list stardom this year by baring her stellar A in this hit Playboy farce.

7. Amy Smart (Mirrors)

In the fright flick Mirrors, bubbly blonde Amy Smart does the brainy thing by baring her sumptuously built body during a dip in the tub. Amy’s so sexy, it Smarts!

8. Mena Suvari (Stuck)

Director Stuart Gordon’s black comedy Stuck takes a delectably light (and hot) turn when star Mena Suvari bares titlets and tail for the skinterracial love scene of the year. Stuck will make you sticky.

9. Penélope Cruz (Elegy)

The academic drama Elegy casts Ben Kingsley as a university professor and Spanish siren Penélope Cruz as his student. Fortunately his academic research includes an intense study of Penélope’s naked breasts.

10. Angelina Jolie (Wanted)

The World’s Sexiest Woman flaunts The World’s Most Sought-After Seat Meat, turning the action bash Wanted into a shoot-’em-up of another, more personal kind.

11. Laura Ramsey (The Ruins)

The horror hit The Ruins tracks a group of doomed hikers who make their way to cursed Mayan ruins. Laura Ramsey will raise more than just your hair when she changes clothes and shows off her own Great Pyramids.

12. Jessica Morris (Role Models)

On TV, Jessica Morris costarred on the soap opera One Life to Live. In the raunchy Paul Rudd/Seann William Scott comedy Role Models, Jessica’s got two boobs to give, and we’ll take them!

13. Willa Ford (Impulse)

Flaxen vixen Willa Ford transforms from former MTV pop tart to erotic-thriller ingénue in Impulse. As a sexual adventurer, Willa bares both her headlights and rear bumper. Have you driven a Ford lately?

14. Carly Pope (Young People Fucking)

Any film titled Young People Fucking better deliver, so it’s a pleasure to report that this indie comedy comes across . . . in the best sense of the term. There’s standout nakedness from Diora Baird, Sonja Bennett, and Natalie Lisinska, but the best scene belongs to deliciously bitsy-boobied Carly Pope, of the cult TV series Popular.

15. Jenna Jameson (Zombie Strippers)

Seeing porn phenomenon Jenna Jameson nude, gorgeous as she always is, may seem like no big novelty at this point, but to see a back-burger shot of her vaginal lips and anus in an uproarious splatter-fest is a whole new skin-sation.

16. Jess Weixler (Teeth)

In the acclaimed horror satire Teeth, nudecomer Jess Weixler balances her penis-eating vagina with a pair of naked breasts so pert and inviting that they make the dangerous trip below seem worth the risk.

17. Moran Atias (Mother of Tears)

Fright maestro Dario Argento directs his daughter Asia Argento nude for the fourth time in this apocalyptic witch saga. But it’s Israeli eyeful Moran Atias, in the title role, who supplies the movie’s Mother of All of Nude Scenes.

18. Vera Farmiga (Never Forever)

Vera Farmiga broke through to stardom in Martin Scorcese’s The Departed, but in Never Forever, she breaks clean out of her top.

19. Maria Bello (Downloading Nancy)

Maria Bello busts out her two tastily tiny ta-tas in Downloading Nancy, and, breast of all, she’s in bondage!

20. Amy Adams (Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day)

Academy Award nominee Amy Adams elevates this stuffy chick flick to stiffy material by flashing her bottomless panty apples. Will Amy’s Golden Globes be next?


28 comments:

  1. I've heard of more of the actresses than I have of the movies listed.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Mr Skin works hard perfecting his craft.

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  3. ooh, heather graham's ass..

    i like Mr. Skin. i've often heard him on my local "afternoon drive" radio station. he has a total midwest accent and is a crack-up to listen to. also, he's a very punny guy. heh.

    ReplyDelete
  4. The real news would be if Heather ever did a movie without getting naked. Ditto Maria Bello.

    Not that I am complaining.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Eww on the Jenna Jameson movie - I mean, it's not like that hasn't been seen before, in every angle, right?

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  6. Juicy - exactly. And now she's also had that horrible plastic surgery.

    Lefty - seat meat

    ReplyDelete
  7. Fluffy muff...isn't that what you use to warm your hands?

    I'm afraid Mr. Skin is a bit too in touch with his inner caveman.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I'm with Juicy, Jenna *shudder* ewwww!

    I have to say, I can't believe Mr. Skin failed to mention, Charlize Theron in 2 Days in the Valley....even I know that looked good! ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  9. LOL...damn my quick read through your post....sorry about that! Whatever...it stands out in my mind...can't help it.

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  10. FYI,
    If you copy and paste the name and title, open a new window, and do a google video search.....

    I know I am not the first. Admit it.

    Thanks Cary!

    ReplyDelete
  11. what no men???

    i wanna see man meat!

    ReplyDelete
  12. v's right! cary it's time for some dick posts...

    ReplyDelete
  13. That's guys comments remind me of Zagat's restaurant reviews.

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  14. "Closing the Ring" was an awesome flick!! But, Mena Suvari is unimpressive in anything she does.

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  15. Hey, I'm all for equality and everything, but if you girls get your dick posts, I want something more than just *talking* about naked Mena Suvari. Unless I'm mistaken, there's no actual nakedness on this here post.

    Also, Neve Campbell looked pretty bad.

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  16. This better be followed by a list of male nude scenes.

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  17. Wieners in movies are kind of rare. Check out the Watchmen if you'd like to see an iridescent blue CGI doodle on Dr. Manhattan for a good portion of the show. Guy has no shame. Can't think of any other movie schlongs in the last year. The MPAA HATES seeing one-eyed trouser snakes.

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  18. What Aries said. As much as I love being bullied, I'd put the odds of you ladies getting a schlong post at about Never-to-1. Give or take.

    Go rent a Harvey Keitel flick or something.

    ReplyDelete
  19. yea whats up with full frontal female nudity in movies but yet its very rare to have male frontals??

    it's discrimination i tell ya. i should sue!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Voronya: I think that male audiences will definitely see a movie because they know there will be boobies.
    Female audiences will see a movie because they know that Hugh Jackman has drenched himself in water and is shimmering in the dappled sunlight in an epic film where love knows no bounds.
    Dudes are sold on boobies alone, chicks need a good story. I might be wrong.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Yeah, contrary to popular belief, most women don't want to see schlong.

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  22. Dudes aren't always sold on boobies alone, Lefty. I won't waste time on American Pie 4 or shit like that even though I know there will be skin.

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  23. The World’s Sexiest Woman flaunts The World’s Most Sought-After Seat Meat

    Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!

    Was there a contest or something to determine who, in fact, has the most sought after "seat meat" (BWA-Ha-ha-HA!)? Anyone have clips from the show?

    "Seat meat". Jesus wept....

    ReplyDelete
  24. Yeah, Cary. Enlightened gentlemen like you and I prefer the finer things in life. Boobies are fine, but they alone won't sell a film to the cultured and worldly cinephile. Having said that, American Pie 5: The Destruction of Jared-Syn promises boobies galore!! I've already got it in my Netflix queue.

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  25. I'm with Jess. Personally, I'd rather see photos of men's eyes---whether they are twinkling, piercing, flirty, or smoldering. They are what I notice first.

    Strong male hands and forearms are nice to look at too.

    ReplyDelete
  26. "...photos of men's eyes---whether they are twinkling, piercing, flirty, or smoldering...." And a nice big cock.

    ReplyDelete

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