Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Misheard Lyrics Of The Day

Some selections from The Archive Of Misheard Lyrics (KissThisGuy.com), a site that invites readers to send in their misheard lyrics and any amusing details about the error. The URL is based on the frequently misheard lyrics of Jimi Hendrix's Purple Haze: "'scuse me, while I kiss the sky."

Here are 21 of my favorites. The site has hundreds more, so check it out.


Song: Addicted To Love by Robert Palmer
Misheard Lyric: Might as well face it, you're a dick with a glove
Correct Lyric: Might as well face it, you're addicted to love
Story: I thought that it was a song about Michael Jackson and I asked a friend if he had heard this song. He had me recite the lyrics. He laughed at me for days.

Song: Centerfold by J Geils Band
Misheard Lyric: My anus is the center hole
Correct Lyric: My angel is a centerfold
Story: Actually, I read this misheard lyric in a magazine while on lunch break one day. I showed it to a co-worker and we laughed so hard that he started crying and I fell out of my chair and almost pissed myself. I just want to know how many holes this person has.

Song: Losing My Religion by R.E.M.
Misheard Lyric: Let's pee in the corner, let's pee in the spotlight...
Correct Lyric: That's me in the corner, that's me in the spotlight...

Song: Bohemian Rhapsody
Misheard Lyric: The algebra has a devil for a sidekick, heeeee...
Correct Lyric: Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me...
Story: Singing at the top of my lungs (off key & voice cracking) into my boyfriend's ear. When he recovered from his attack of hysteria, he told me the real words. Think I had a problem with math? I still sing this version.

Song: Summer Of '69 by Bryan Adams
Misheard Lyric: Got my first real sex dream, I was five at the time, played it till my fingers bled, was the summer of '69
Correct Lyric: Got my first real six-string, bought it at the five-and-dime, played it till my fingers bled, was the summer of '69
Story: I think this version is much more interesting.

Song: Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana
Misheard Lyric: Here we are now, in containers...
Correct Lyric: Here we are now, entertain us...

Song: Blinded By The Light by Manfred Mann (originally by Bruce Springsteen)
Misheard Lyric: Wrapped up like a douche, another rumor in the night
Correct Lyric: Revved up like a deuce, another runner in the night
Story: I kept thinking to myself....what the hell does a douche have to do with rumors??? I asked a friend and she laughed so hard she turned purple.

Song: Livin' On A Prayer by Bon Jovi
Misheard Lyric: You got to hold on to what you got, it doesn't make a difference if we're naked or not
Correct Lyric: You got to hold on to what you got, it doesn't make a difference if we make it or not

Song: Gettin' Jiggy With It by Will Smith
Misheard Lyric: Kick a chicken with it
Correct Lyric: Gettin' jiggy with it
Story: My cousin heard me singing it and died laughing, then she clued me in to my dismay, all that time I thought I had the words right but didn't understand the meaning, like it was a slang meaning. Boy did I feel stupid.

Song: Blowin' In The Wind by Bob Dylan
Misheard Lyric: The ants are my friends, they're blowin' in the wind, the ants are a-blowin' in the wind
Correct Lyric: The answer, my friends, is blowin' in the wind, the answer is blowin' in the wind

Song: Mysterious Ways by U2
Misheard Lyric: Shamu, the mysterious whale
Correct Lyric: She moves in mysterious ways


Song: Ghostbusters by Ray Parker, Jr.
Misheard Lyric: Who ya gonna call? Those bastards!
Correct Lyric: Who ya gonna call? Ghostbusters!
Story: It was my dad, actually. He phoned a radio station to complain that they were playing this!

Song: Take Me Home, Country Roads by John Denver
Misheard Lyric: West Virginia, mount yer momma
Correct Lyric: West Virginia, mountain momma
Story: I Heard the remix for 2 weeks on holiday, and decided to sing it at Karaokee in our hotel. Unfortunately this was a family event, the mike was cut, and I was informed that this kind of behaviour would not be tolerated.

Song: Addicted To Love by Robert Palmer
Misheard Lyric: Might as well face it, you're a dickhead in love
Correct Lyric: Might as well face it, you're addicted to love

Song: Desperado by The Eagles
Misheard Lyric: You've been downright offensive for so long now
Correct Lyric: You've been out riding fences for so long now
Story: It was actually my wife who was singing it and I've made her life misery ever since, which is easily 20 years ago.

Song: Closer by Nine Inch Nails
Misheard Lyric: I want a duck shaped like a triangle, you give a toaster to Bob
Correct Lyric: I want to fuck you like an animal, you get me closer to God
Story: I can't take credit for this moment of stupefying adolescent brilliance: it was the responsiblity of a long-lost friend at a summer camp. I think his rendition says much about the atmosphere of "alternative" rock in the mid-'90s, or something.

Song: We Build This City by Starship
Misheard Lyric: We built this city on the wrong damn road
Correct Lyric: We built this city on rock and roll
Story: This is what my friend Rachel thought it said

Song: My Hero by Foo Fighters
Misheard Lyric: There goes my hero, he's old and hairy
Correct Lyric: There goes my hero, he's ordinary
Story: This one comes courtesy of my grandma. Bless her, she's a little deaf.

Song: Can't Stop by Red Hot Chili Peppers
Misheard Lyric: Can't stop the ferrets when they need food
Correct Lyric: Can't stop the spirits when they need you
Story: i was singing it pretty loud at a party and its safe to say im still trying to live it down

Song: Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap by AC/DC
Misheard Lyric: Dirty deeds and they're done with sheep
Correct Lyric: Dirty deeds and they're done dirt cheap

Song: Like A Virgin by Madonna
Misheard Lyric: Like a virgin, touched for the thirty-first time
Correct Lyric: Like a virgin, touched for the very first time

Song: Michelle by The Beatles
Misheard Lyric: Michelle, Ma Bell, some say monkeys play piano well, play piano well
Correct Lyric: Michelle ma belle, sont des mots qui vont très bien ensemble, très bien ensemble.
Story: My sister and I were somberly singing along at the top of our lungs when my mom cracked up. Never occurred to us that it was another language.

46 comments:

  1. My late husband dated a girl who thought the lyrics to Beast of Burden were:

    I'll never leave your pizza burning.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I knew a little person that was singng "Feliz Navidad"...

    "There's fleas on my dog"!

    Pizza burning...hee hee

    ReplyDelete
  3. Wicked list, cause everyone is a victim of this crime!

    My personal addition - I thought "Panama" by Van Halen was "Cannonball".

    But personal favorite - my sister's friend thought "Angie" by the Stones was "I Ain't Jeff" !!

    ReplyDelete
  4. For a long time I thought it "there's a bathroom on the right...", but it's really "there's a bad moon on the rise". Duh.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Love the "mount yer momma" karaoke story, Cary.

    Back in high school, a friend of mine laughed his ass off at me when he heard me singing, "I'm gonna cry, cry cry cry, 9 to 16." If I had even known the title of ? and the Mysterians's song, I would have realized it was "96 tears".

    ReplyDelete
  6. Song: Damn I Wish I was Your Lover by Sophie B. Hawkins

    Correct lyrics:
    I'll rock you till the daylight comes.......
    Make sure you are smiling and warm....
    Tonight I'll be your mother....

    What I hear, every time even though I know it's wrong:
    I'll fuck you till the daylight comes....
    Make sure you are smiling and more....
    Tonight I'll be your lover


    Every. Single. Time.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Well i made the same mistake with dirty deeds done dirt cheap. I always thought it was
    dirty thevies and there thunder jeeps.
    yeah my dad laughed so hard he almost pissed himself.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Two from my ex:

    Michael Jackson - "Billie Jean, that's my girl" instead of "is not my lover"

    Matthew Wilder - "Ain't nothin gonna break my spine" instead of stride.

    My favorite I heard somewhere else:

    Nine Inch Nails, "Down In It" - instead of "I was up above it", they heard "I was on the Muppets"

    ReplyDelete
  9. Eddie Money's "I Think I'm Love"

    "I think I'm in love, and I can't get it up!" Which is really, "'Cause I can't get enough."

    ReplyDelete
  10. Ohhhhhh, I see...those aren't YOUR stories, Cary. I was referring to the John Denver "mount yer momma" blurb.

    I was wondering why you would say you were on "holiday" for 2 weeks. Didn't think you were a Limey bastard.

    ReplyDelete
  11. My brother, who is famous for screwing up lyrics to songs, once sang "Valerie" by Steve Winwood as "Kerosene!" No matter that it makes absolutely no sense.

    We were hanging out with my cousin at the time, and after we all recovered from laughing, my cousin sang out the next line as "I'm the same fuel I used to be."

    And I know that I brought this up on facebook but I love it...People singing "Cinnamon Gum!" instead of the line "You should've been gone!" in the song "Oh Sherry."

    OH! And "Hold me closer, Tony Danza" in "Tiny Dancer" by Elton John is another one I've heard about.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I love AC/DC, but I am a huge fan of Weird Al's Dirty Deeds Done With Sheep. It cracks me up every single time....

    ReplyDelete
  13. For a long time I thought the Beast of Burden lyric was "I'll never be your pizza carton," which makes "I'll never leave your pizza burning" sound really reasonable, actually.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Simon and Garfunkel's The Boxer:

    Is: "just a come-on from the whores on seventh avenue"

    I heard: "just to come home from the war-zone seventh avenue"

    Not hilarious, but I was ego-blasted by some co-workers on that and naturally defiantly stood my ground. In this case the internets failed me with its truthiness. Damn you, internets! damn you.

    ReplyDelete
  15. "I want a duck shaped like a triangle, you give a toaster to Bob"

    I was having a pretty crappy morning, and that line made me laugh until I had tears in my eyes.

    ReplyDelete
  16. When i was young, the song "Oh Susanna" was sung, "With a band-aid on my knee."

    I wish I could put some of my mistakes, but when i mess up a lyric it's usually complete gibberish...like suddenly the singer is singing in tongues, and somehow that makes sense to me.
    -Confusia

    ReplyDelete
  17. haha... for the longest time my grandma thought that billy joel's "you may be right, i may be crazy" was "you make the rice, i make the gravy". we still give her a hard time about it, but everyone at my bar now sings those lyrics when someone does the song for karaoke. fun times.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Don't forget the Beatles' "Paper bag rider"

    ReplyDelete
  19. i haven't read the other comments yet, but i never knew it was "revved up like a deuce", i always thought it was "wrapped up like a douche". and, goddamnit i'm still gonna sing it that way...

    ReplyDelete
  20. I always think the Eagles are singing "and you can't find the dog, can't find him anywhere..."

    My brother and his friends always thought (and I agree) that the 70s song "Magic" was "My Dick" and it really works: "oh, oh, oh it's my dick, you know, never believe it's not so..."

    ReplyDelete
  21. When I was a kid: I thought the line about 'shaggin' in the elevator' from "Love In An Elevator" was "Shaggy's in the elevator."
    -I sang "livin' on a crater" instead of "livin' on a prayer."
    -"Bennie in the dress" instead of "Bennie and The Jets"
    -I also swore "Panama" was "Cannonball"

    The best was my misheard from Kenny Loggin's "Danger Zone," though in my defense, the music being processed within an inch of its life made it hard to understand:
    Revvin' up your engine
    Listen to her owl moan
    Mel is in detention
    Bacon you can touch and go

    ReplyDelete
  22. My favorite one I've ever read is a line from The Beatles' "Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds." The real line is "the girl with kaleidoscope eyes" but it's been misheard as "the girl with colitis goes by." :)

    ReplyDelete
  23. Ha, the Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds reminds me that as a kid I thought it was "Lucy in disguise with diamonds!"

    ReplyDelete
  24. The Michelle song by the Beatles was a mystery to me as ell. I thought the end of the line was "Michelle, my belle, some say somethings play piano songs, play piano songs."

    Glad I wasn't the only one who heard piano!

    ReplyDelete
  25. Intentionally mis-sung was Bad Medicine by Bon Jovi. I was so sick of this fucker when Bad Medicine came out that I would loudly sing "your love is like bad venison". Still do.

    Also David Lee Roth's Just Like Paradise:
    "This must be just like living with parasites".

    Also Almost Paradise from that guy from Loverboy (Mike headband Reno) and Ann or Nancy Wilson from Heart.
    "Oh, all these parasites. We're knocking on heaven's door".

    Any song that includes the word paradise can easily be overhauled with a quick replacement with Parasite. Try it. It's fun!

    ReplyDelete
  26. Bryan Adams "Cuts like a knife", I heard "Kawaski nights." I really can't even MAKE myself hear it like that anymore.

    ReplyDelete
  27. My youngest daughter thought the lyrics for "You're the One That I Want" were:
    "I got shoes, they're made of plywood. And I'm losing the bows."
    Instead of "I've got chills, they're multiplying. And I'm losing control."

    The best one I ever heard was from a little boy I used to babysit. I am a huge Eagles fan and we were listening to "Take it Easy." He sings, "Looking for a lover who won't blow my brother but she's so hard to find!" I peed on myself I laughed so hard. Bless his heart.

    ReplyDelete
  28. In junior high we danced to Elton John a lot and I never knew the correct lyrics to "Saturday Night" or "Bennie and the Jets," to name a couple, but I still love his music.

    The internet has been very useful over the years finding out what the correct lyrics to so many songs were, back in the days when if you didn't have the album (and so the liner notes) you were just screwed.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Oh man, wrapped up like a douche - I always thought it was that, too...

    I still have trouble with this one:
    Baby you're a rich man, baby you're a rich man... you keep all your money in a big brown bag inside the loo(or zoo depending on my mood), nothing to do!

    I think I'll have to look that one up again. I still can't remember what it really is.

    ReplyDelete
  30. My brother thought that "Whooah, we're half way there" was "Whooah, we're headbangin" [from "Livin On A Prayer"].
    The first time I heard "Smoke On The Water" by Deep Purple, I thought they were singing "Slow Running Water" which totally explained the "fire in the sky".

    ReplyDelete
  31. Carly Simon "You're So Vain": "I had a dream there were clowns in my coffee, clowns in my coffee..."

    Elton John "Bennie & the Jets": "She's got electric boobs, a mohair suit, you know I read it in a magazine"

    Journey "Open Arms": "And now I come to you with broken arms"

    ReplyDelete
  32. My husband always thought the lyrics 'dirty deeds done dirt cheap' were saying, 'dirty deeds, thunder cheese.' He actually seriously asked me what thunder cheese was one day. In another vein, my friends and I used to bastardize the lyrics to George Harrison's "Got my Mind Set on You' to "get up I might set on you,", and U2's "Where the Streets Have no Name," to 'where the sheets have no stains.'

    ReplyDelete
  33. Using Lefty's idea, "I can see parasites by the dashboard light" puts a different slant on Meatloaf's song.

    ReplyDelete
  34. One day, my son sang to the TOP of his lungs..."Police Oh my God!" for Felize Navidad!!!

    Meg from GA

    ReplyDelete
  35. The ones we had issues with growing up were
    "Dirty knees and the thunder jeep"
    by AC/DC
    and instead of
    "you are a magnet and I am steel"
    it was
    "you are Amanda and I am Steve"

    ReplyDelete
  36. I heard Tom from the Bob & Tom show say he always thought it was "Dirty Deeds and the Dunder Chief."

    ReplyDelete
  37. A waitress at bar I frequent likes to dance to a song with the lines "Shake, shake, shake that ass. Shake that ass for me." The first few times I heard it, I thought the lines were "Shave, shave, shave that ass. Shave that ass for me." The correct lines give the song a whole different meaning!

    ReplyDelete
  38. 'Dirty Deeds Done to Sheep' - what, do you all think Acker Dacker were New Zealanders?!

    I think I have said it before in this august forum, but when I was a kid the universal mis-sung AC/DC lyric was:

    'It's a long way to the shop if you want a sausage roll'.

    Or Chicko Roll, depending on regional preferences.

    [It's a long way to the top if you want to rock and roll].

    The Clash's 'Rock the Casbah' is a fave for mondegreens. My one is:

    Charlene don't like it,
    Lock the Taskbar,
    Lock the Taskbar.

    Instead of:

    Sharif don't like it,
    Rock the Casbah,
    Rock the Casbah.

    If you don't use Windows and have never locked the taskbar, it might not make sense...

    ReplyDelete
  39. man did I need this! Good stuff!
    My husband is notorious for getting lyrics wrong, and my favorite- Brick House by the Commodores. Keep in the the name of the damn song is actually BRICK HOUSE...we're drunk at a wedding and he's singing, 'She's a freak, owww".
    really.

    ReplyDelete
  40. My anus is the center hole?!?!?! HAHAHHHAAAA *dying* HAHAHHAHAHAHHAA seriously--call 911

    ReplyDelete
  41. We're out one night, and Radar Love by Golden Earring comeson. We're drunk and singing loud......we hear our friend at the chorus: "Red hot love........." I said, what did you say? He said, it's that song, Red Hot Love.........uh, no.

    ReplyDelete
  42. I always liked "Bingo Jed had a light on" for "Big ol Jet Airliner" by Steve Miller Band

    ReplyDelete
  43. The first time I heard "Alive and Kicking" I thought he was saying "our love is kinky" Thankfully I knew that had to be wrong and asked somebody what they were saying, so I never had to admit it.
    -P-

    ReplyDelete
  44. Song: You give love a Bad Name, Bon Jovi
    Misheard Lyric: You Give love a Band-aid.
    Correct Lyric: You Give Love a Bad Name.
    Story: When I was younger my parents were constantly playing songs from when they were younger, and my mom's favorite was Bon Jovi, so naturally I heard this song a lot. And it wasn't until my mom heard me walking around singing "You give love a band-aid" that she told me the name of the song, it being the correct lyric.

    ReplyDelete

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