Wednesday, March 4, 2009

371 Euphemisms For Female Masturbation, 120-255 (NSFW)

The prurience continues...

Gagging my meat hole
Gagging the clam
Gagging the lips of love
Genital manipulation
Genital stimulation via phalangetic motion
Getting a date with slick mittens
Getting a lube job
Getting a stain out of my carpet
Getting a stinky pinky
Getting mud for my turtle
Getting the last pickle out of the jar
Getting the little man in the boat to go fishing
Getting to know Sticky Fingers the mobster
Getting to know yourself
Gilding the lily
Going around the corner
Going deep sea diving
Going fishing
Going mining
Going solo
Going to and from the Batcave
Greasing your hips
Gristle rub
Groping the grotto
Gusset typing
Hand tossing the tuna salad
Harpooning your tang
Having a date with Martin Five-Fingers
Having ladyfingers and cream
Having sex with someone you love
Hee-Haw with wrinkled Mee-Maw
Hitchhiking South
Hitchhiking to heaven
Hitchhiking under the Big Top
Hitting the slit
Hitting the spot
Honing the stone
Indoor fishing
Itching the ditch
Jennying off
Jiggling your jenny
Jilling off
Jostling the Elder
Juicing it up
Juicing Lucy
Killing off
Letting your fingers do the walking
Levy break limbo
Licking my lips (for us contortionists)
"Looking for Waldo & his dog (gee, spot, there you are!)"
Makin' waves for the man-in-the-boat
Making a mini Eiffel Tower
Making kitty purr
Making my lips swell
Making soup
Making the little man sing
Making your own gravy
Manual override
Menage a moi
Muffin buffin'
Nail polish remover
Nulling the void
Nursing a hatchet wound
Opening the bottom drawer
Paddling the finger canoe
Paddling the pink canoe
Pampering the pussy
Parting my meat curtain
Parting the Red Sea
Patting the panky
Pearl fishing
Peeling the peach
Perusing the Yellow Pages
Petting Snoopy
Petting the kitty
Petting the little man in the canoe
Petting the petunia
Petting the pussy
Petting the pussy cat
Petting your bunny
Petting your kitty
Playing couch hockey for one
Playing on the cricket green
Playing poker
Playing solitaire
Playing the banjo
Playing the beaver
Playing the box
Playing the clitar
Playing the hairy guitar
Playing the little Dutch boy
Playing the silent trombone
Playing the slots
Playing with the man in the boat
Playing with your pineapple
Pluggin the leak
Plunging the drain
Plunging the happy hole
Pokin' the pucker
Poking the pudding
Polishing the nugget
Polishing the peanut
Polishing the wedding ring
Polishing your pearl
Preheating the oven
Priming the pump
Producing whore moans (hormones, get it? ;^)
Pushing the button
Pussy poking
Pussy soccer
Putting out the fire
Putting the dot in .org
Reading braille
Reading the map of Tasmania
Ride the glide until the tide
Riding the bed post
Riding the cotton pony
Riding the unicycle
Riding the waterslide
Riding your own mule down Grand Canyon
Ringing your bell
Rocking the boat
Rollin the ol' bean
Rolling the dough
Rolling the marble
Romancing thy own
Rubbin Hood
Rubbin' the nubbin
Rubbing the donut
Rubbing the red pussycat
Rubbing the stub


  1. I like the word prurience. ;D

  2. I thought you might, Daisy.

    It's a word that's easier to write than to say.

  3. Um..."riding the cotton pony" conjures up a WHOLE different, less-than-sexy mental image for me (being that most feminine hygiene products are made of cotton).

  4. Yeah, agreed, that one doesn't belong here.

  5. Reading the map of Tasmania? Playing on the cricket green? What are these people smokin'? Muffin buffin' made me laugh!

    I better go. I have to get a stain out of my carpet now.

  6. HA! I missed "buffin the muffin" - nice. I also like "Getting to know Sticky Fingers, the Mobster," whatever it means.

  7. Juice, take a look at the map and notice the shape of the island of Tasmania.

    Personally, my favorite is putting the dot in .org .

  8. Menage a Moi...that's classic.

  9. Haha.. I LOVE "menage a moi" and "mistressbate"




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