Tuesday, March 3, 2009

371 Euphemisms For Female Masturbation, 1-120 (NSFW)

Some are nasty. All are naughty. Naughty, naughty, naughty.

From WorldwideWank.com (link from Frank).

3 Point Shot
A night in with the girls
Airing the orchid
Applying lip gloss
Applying nail polish remover
Auditioning the finger puppets
Automatic pilot
Banging the box
Bashing the gash
Basting the tuna
Basting your turkey
Bathing the kitty
Beating around the bush
Beating the Beaver
Brushing the beaver
Brushing your afro
Buffing the bead
Buffing the Weasel
Burying the knuckle
Butterin' the muffin
Buttering your bagel
Carpet bumping
Cat got tongue
Checking for depth
Checking for squirrels
Checking for the jackpot
Checking my oil
Checking the foxhole
Checking the muffler
Checking the oil
Checking the pulse
Checking the status of the I/O port
Circling the knoll
Clam bake for one
Cleaning between the camel's toes
Cleaning my fur coat
Cleaning the kitchen
Cleaning your fingers
Coaxing the genie out of the magic lamp
Coaxing the turtle out of her shell
Coming into your own
Copping a clam
Creamin' the pie
Cunt cuddling
Cunt rubbing
Defrosting the freezer
Dialing the rotary phone
Digging a trench
Digging for gold
Digging for my keys
Digging in
Digging the cream
Dipping for ice cream
Diving for pearls
Diving for pennies
Doing my nails
Doing something for my chapped lips
Doing the sweet slide
Doing the two-finger slot rumba
Doing the two-finger ballet
Doing the two-finger salute
Doing your nails
Doodling the noodle
Double knuckling
Double-clicking your mouse
Dousing the digits
Draining your tuna
Drilling for fish
Drilling for oil
Drinking from the fountain of youth (for us contortionists)
Drinking from the furry cup
Driving Ms. Daisy
Dunking your doughnut
Dusting the endtable
Engaging in safe sex
Entering the forest
Entering the ring of fire
Erasing the problem
Excavating the Tunnel of Love
Exploring the bush
Fanning the fur
Feeding the bearded clam
Feeding the cat
Feeding the pony
Feeding your slot
Feeling your funnel
Fiddling the bean
Filling the pink taco
Filling your niche
Finding yourself
Finger bang
Finger blasting
Finger dipping
Finger fucking
Finger pie
Finger-pole the hole
Fingering something out
Finishing the job
Fishing for cumpliments
Fishing for mackerel
Flash flood
Flickin' the bean
Flicking the switch
Flicking the tic tac
Flipping the light switch repeatedly
Flitting your clit
Flossing the cat
Fluffing the kitty
Fluffing the muff
Fucking without complications


  1. Hmmmm...what was I doing on that website???

  2. Yes, Frank, what WERE you doing on that website?!?

  3. I'm really going to have to start watching what I say. Seems you can't "check" anything anymore.

    My brother used to use the expression "digging for gold", but in reference to picking your nose. Lots of childhood memories just got screwed up for me.

  4. Checking for squirrels?? Some of these are confusing.

    Excuse me, I have to go Do My Nails. No wait, I have to feed the cat first. No... nevermind.

    Back later - I need to finish the job.

  5. F-ing without complications...
    So true...ha ha

  6. i realize that you only got to the Fs in your version, cary (and i didn't click the link BECAUSE I'M AT WORK), but i'm certainly hoping "stirring the soup" made the list.

    and flickin' the bean made me LOL.


  7. I looked it up, just for you, MOFM:

    # Stirring it up
    # Stirring the honey pot
    # Stirring the pudding
    # Stirring the sauce
    # Stirring the soup

    And, as bonus:

    # Strumming the big open C

  8. Man, Frank, that was fast! I'm thinking you knew it by memory.

  9. I was definitely most caught by "auditioning the fingerpuppets." That one's my new fave!


  10. Nah, samsmama, the ones I know from memory are:

    # Stoking the fire
    # Strainin' the main vein
    # Strangling Kojak
    # Strangling the hog
    # Strangling the one-eyed trouser snake

  11. entering the ring of fire?? sounds like someone needs some meds. maybe the should have been 'engaging in sake sex'

    yall need to read the rest!
    getting a stain outta the carpet
    menage a moi
    playing the clitar
    the ole feel and sqeal
    working out at the Y!

  12. Moe slapping Curly? Nyuk, nyuk.


    Will deffo become part of my new vernacular.



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