Thursday, December 18, 2008
From Eric in Frisco, TX. According to LOTD fan Berit, the photo was taken in Ruston, LA by her cousin Seth.
We out of meet.
This would not be a problem for my wife's grandmother. She used to go through the BK drive-thru in Jesup, GA (jes' up the road!) and order a Whopper without the meat. I kid you not. She liked the bun and all the fixin's (hate that word). She said that the first time she did it, when she got to the window, all the employees were waiting to see what nutcase ordered a meatless Whopper. (And she is a nutcase, bless her lunatic heart. She thinks her apartment neighbors are spraying chemicals through the air ducts to try to kill her. Hell, maybe they are.)
Oh, the ho-ho-horror...
The snowman tried to hide before the photo was taken, but he wasn't quick enough.
Benny traded his bite stick and bus helmet for this sweater.
Grandma hated to waste anything, so when she ended up with three extra Santa heads, she stuck one on the arm and two on the back.
It looks like he horked down the front of his shirt.
The Playboy Christmas sweater. Because the birth of Jesus and porno mags go great together.
WTF? She looks like a Christmas suicide bomber. How does she stand up straight with all that shit on there? Oh, I know -- she has an anvil hanging from her back.
If you're wondering who gave Mom the Scotty Christmas vest, I'm guessing it's the guy with the mullet on the shelf back there.
Fuckin' teenagers. They never appreciate nice gifts.
The best thing about this sweater on eBay...
... is that it came with this super-sexy track suit.
She's checking for a heartbeat, because most guys wouldn't be caught dead in that thing.
If I had this vest, I'd wear it just like this -- with nothing under it. I might not even wear pants. But I would wear a top hat. And maybe a little one on my penis, too.
The Rorschach Sweater. Most patients say it looks like someone lost a snowball fight.
Did this come from the Mount Vernon gift shop? It looks like George and Martha Washington Snowman.
What, you thought only Americans had crappy taste?
I bet Coca-Cola makes its employees wear this to work.
This one looks like an afterthought. Someone was tired of the powder blue V-neck so she just stuck a bunch of Christmas shit on it.
Now we know where beads go to die.
She got just back from Sgt. Pepper auditions, but I don't know what the fuck he's thinking.
Sid The Surfin' Jew shows off a gift from a fan
Jerry got dibs on the Christmas sweater, so Maggie got stuck wearing the tablecloth.
Who wants to play Menorah Invaders?
One of my favorite kid stories comes from my friend, James, who has kindly allowed me to retell it here for your amusement.
A few years ago, when James' daughter Barbara was 5 or 6, the two of them were grocery shopping. They stopped at the meat case to see what was fresh for the day. At the same time, one of the meat clerks, an older woman, was restocking another section. She saw them and came over to see if they needed help.
When she saw Barbara, who has always been adorable, the woman complimented her.
"I love your outfit," she said. "You're such a pretty little girl."
A bit shy, and like most kids her age in that situation, Barbara didn't quite know how to reply. James said she sort of hid her face behind him, embarrassed.
"Oh, she's shy," the woman said. "That's ok, honey."
James thanked the woman, who headed back to her restocking. But Barbara knew she was supposed to reply when someone pays you a compliment, and James could tell she was trying to think of something nice to say.
Then, it came to her, and Barbara called out to the woman.
"I like your mustache."
Heh heh heh.
The woman kept walking, so James doesn't know if she heard Barbara or not. He sincerely hopes she didn't.