Good advice from former felon turned crime novelist, singer and Australian TV personality, Mark "Chopper" Read. (NSFW - language.)
Monday, November 24, 2008
At first I was worried this might be Spinderfella. His karaoke work has been known to clear rooms.
From The Smoking Gun.
From The Smoking Gun.
Man Beaten Over Karaoke Performance
NOVEMBER 12--Meet Kyle Drinkwine. The Wisconsin man, 24, allegedly became so incensed by a lackluster karaoke performance of a heavy metal song that he assaulted the singer and a second man, police charge.
According to a River Falls Police Department report, Drinkwine throttled singer James Mischler, 28, and his friend Cyrus Kozub, 29, "over one's ability to sing karaoke." Though cops did not specify which song set Drinkwine off last week, Kozub told TSG that Mischler was performing "Holy Diver," the title cut on Dio's 1983 debut album (the band is fronted by Ronnie James Dio, the former Black Sabbath lead singer).
[In a subsequent interview, Mischler told TSG that when Drinkwine and some cronies started heckling him, he responded with a putdown about the "big gaudy crucifix" worn by Drinkwine. "I told him he should find a better vending machine for his jewelry," Mischler recalled, adding that the comment angered the heckler, who himself had earlier performed an Eminem song. Mischler said he was concerned about reports claiming that he did a mocking version of "Holy Diver." "I genuinely love Ronnie James Dio," he said.]
Following the assaults, police apprehended Drinkwine after a short foot chase. A subsequent Breathalyzer test recorded his blood alcohol content at .169, more than twice the state limit. Drinkwine was booked into the Pierce County Jail on battery and disorderly conduct counts.
This is the second time in 15 months that a karaoke singer has been attacked over their song styling. Last August, a Washington man was punched by a female bar patron who thought his cover of "Yellow," a Coldplay song, "really sucked."
Oh, these are rich. Most of them are pretty short, so I'm posting a bunch. From 911callers.com. There are also some serious ones on the site if you're interested.
Sometimes silence says so much
Can you hear the guy calling "Help!"?
Yo quiero taco
The butterfly man
In my mouth
I want my Western Burger
All hell's gonna break loose!
Bathroom health hazard
Missing a blonde
Finally, here's one sent to me by both Jodi and Reenie. One of them labeled it "Texas 911 Call," the other named it "Arkansas 911 Call," but they are both wrong. The caller is clearly from Georgia. (And obviously not real, but funny.)