Look what I found.
(SPOILER ALERT: If you're watching Lost but haven't gotten through Season Four yet, don't watch this vid.)
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Ellen cracks me up. So does Gladys. Check it out -- it's worth the 5 minutes. I realize it's not that new but I hadn't seen it before, and maybe you haven't either.
My thanks to Lisa H. for the link.
My own grandmother was outspoken like Gladys. One time I took her to dinner at Shoney's (or Bob's Big Boy or whatever it's called in other locales). I don't know why she picked it -- she always said he didn't like it -- but off we went. As usual, the food was pretty awful and so was the service. The place was mostly empty but it still took forvever to get our food.
When we went up to pay the bill at the cash register, the cashier asked, "How was everything?" Without a millisecond's hesitation, my grandma said, "Just about the worst I ever had." The cashier, a bit taken aback, said, "I'm sorry. What was wrong with it?" "You name it," said Grandma, then turned and walked away. I'm standing there getting my change from the clerk and just sorta smiled like an idiot and shrugged.
I couldn't blame her, though; she was right. Good for her for saying so. Many people won't; "fine," they'll say, when things are not fine.
This is the same grandmother who, when my sister told her she didn't believe in Hell, replied, "You'll believe it when the flames are lickin' at your feet."
She died in 2001 and I still think about her every single day.
Halloween approaches, so it's time to start thinking about your costume. If you stumped for ideas, look no further. Submitted for your approval, 31 of the worst -- or best, depending on your point of view -- Halloween costumes you'll ever see.
Some are from Sarah, some are from Julie M. Some are old, some aren't. Listed in no particular order.
The Toilet (Kids)
For a humiliation your child can tell his shrink about when he's grown.
The boob is already in there, chief.
Not creepy at all. Did Tattoo have a picture of himself on his suit in the show? I think I would've remembered that.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
The Man-Eating Shark
Now that's funny.
Burger King Stormtrooper
One theme at a time, please.
Hell if I know.
Because missing children are hi-larious.
Frank 'n' Beans
You really should see a doctor about those.
If you want to be a total dick.
There's millions of these costumes floating around.
If anyone tells you that blackface went out with Al Jolson, say, "Quit your jibba jabba, fool!" Voted Costume Most Likely To Get Your Ass Kicked by readers of Halloween Today magazine.
I Scream, You Scream
So what's the problem here?
The Littlest Terrorist
The Turd/Milk Dud
Hard to tell the difference sometimes.
TIE Fighter (Star Wars)
Tomorrow he'll complain, "How come I never get laid on Halloween?"
Put the lotion in the basket.
Remember when costumes were just a mask and a shirt or dress? Yeah, they sucked.
Genius! Just squeeze the hand-held bubble to make it ooze diarrhea. Yes, it's real. The costume, I mean, not the diarrhea. Hopefully.
I sense a great disturbance in The Force.
Only a dude would dress like this.
Dr. Killjoy (kids)
Great for school parties.
You'll be crowned the winner of the costume contest.
Lil' Hitler (kids)
Because you dressed him as Stalin last year and no one got it. They thought he was Mike Ditka.
From The Black Lagoon.
This is not the worst vagina costume you'll ever see...
Vagina With Tampon
Nor is this the worst vagina costume you'll ever see...
More Peter Cetera for all you fans. There's only one word for this video: hijinks. Wacky, gut-busting hijinks.
I've never seen a man work so hard for a tranny.
Every time he was standing in the back of the pickup, I was hoping for an underpass to take him out. When they hit the L.A. River, I was expecting Danny Zuko and Kenickie to challenge her to a drag race.
An amusing Photoshop contest from Worth1000.com. Some of the best entries...