Friday, October 3, 2008

14 "Awsome" Misspelled Tattoos Of The Day

What, tattoo artists don't keep dictionaries on hand?


"To" stupid to breed


I think "tomarrow" knows you'll still be a dummy tomorrow


Comedy is right (in more ways than one)


Your alive? No, sir, that's my alive. Give it back!


This message brought to you by the proud schools of the Atlantic Coast Conference


Double fault: misspelled heroes and the unnecessary apostrophe.


God, and your remedial English teacher


I think you already have, buddy.


Yeah, fuck it! Whatever it is.


Judging by this post, you're right.


"Surley" your "freind" "straind" over this ink he gave you for free.


You sur are, pal.


If the game is Five-Card Suck, you got a royal flush.


The infamous "Chi-tonw" tat

Classic Comedy Clip Of The Day: The Front Fell Off

A funny bit from Aussie comedians/satirists John Clarke and Bryan Dawe, courtesy of Reenie. Good on ya, Reen.


link

Classic TV Show Open Of The Day

I don't remember this show at all, but I'm sure some of you do. Regan does - she sent the link.


link

Top 9 Songs About Masturbation

A satisfying list for my readers. Was it good for you, too?

Link from Spinderfella - thanks, dude.


9. "ICICLE" - TORI AMOS

“And when my hand touches myself
I can finally rest my head
And when they take from his body

I think I’ll take from mine instead

Getting off, getting off while they’re all downstairs.”


Psst, Tori... they can hear you downstairs. Your bedroom is right over the kitchen.


8. "DANCING WITH MYSELF" - BILLY IDOL

“When there’s no-one else in sight
In the crowded lonely night
Well I wait so long

For my love vibration
And I’m dancing with myself.”


Think he keeps his leather glove on when he’s doin’ it?


7. "BLISTER IN THE SUN" - VIOLENT FEMMES

“Let me go on
Like I blister in the sun

Let me go on

Big hands I know you're the one

Body and beats

I stain my sheets

I don’t even know why.”


Because you don't have any tissue on your bedside table? You're gonna get a blister in your palm if you keep pullin' your puddin' all the time.


6. "PRAYING HANDS" - DEVO

“You got your left hand
You got your right hand

The left hand’s diddling

While the right hand goes to work.”


Check out Devo. Hard to believe those handsome fellas would ever have to masturbate, isn't it?


5. "I TOUCH MYSELF" - THE DIVINYLS

“Do we even need to write the lyrics here?
You know the damn thing by now don’t you?

Don’t you?

Fine, here it is

I don’t want anybody else

And when I think about you
I touch myself

Ooh, ooh, ooh, aah.”

When I think about me, I touch myself too.


4. "TURNING JAPANESE" - THE VAPORS

“I’ve got your picture
I’ve got your picture

I’d like a million of you all round my cell
I want a doctor to take your picture
So I can look at you from inside as well

You’ve got me turning up and turning down

And turning in and turning ‘round

I’m turning Japanese
I think I’m turning Japanese

I really think so."

"Turning Japanese" means squinting your eyes while rubbing one out. But when you're done, you turn back to whatever nationality you were before you started.


3. "SHE BOP" - CYNDI LAUPER

“Do I wanna go out with a lion's roar
Huh, yea, I wanna go south n get me some more

Hey, they say that a stitch in time saves nine

They say I better stop -- or I'll go blind
Oop--she bop--she bop.”


She bop, she bop, but I wish she'd stop, she'd stop. Because I'd rather not think about gnarly Cyndi doing that.


2. "THE TOUCH OF MY HAND" - BRITNEY SPEARS

“Cause I just discovered Imagination’s taken over
Another day without a lover

The more I come to understand the touch of my hand

The small of my back

The arch of my feet

Lately I’ve been noticing the beautiful me

I’m all in my skin and I’m not gonna wait

I’m into myself in a most precious way.”

Every time Britney reaches for herself, her naughty bits scream, "Leave Britney alone!"


1. "DARLING NIKKI" - PRINCE

“I knew a girl named Nikki
I guess u could say she was a sex fiend

I met her in a hotel lobby
Masturbating with a magazine
She said how’d you like to waste some time

And I could not resist when I saw little Nikki grind."


I think about this song every time I see a stain on a hotel lobby sofa.

Honorable (?) Mentions:

"Pump It Up" - Elvis Costello
"My Ding-A-Ling" - Chuck Berry
"Rosie" - Jackson Browne
"Right In Time" - Lucinda Williams
"Strokin'" - Clarence Carter
"Fingers" - Pink

Source: TheFrisky.com

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