Thursday, September 11, 2008

90s Music Video Of The Day

And you thought the song was annoying.


link

The 9 Nastiest Beers I've Ever Had

I was never a connoisseur, but I know swill when I taste it. Here are nine of the worst swills ever.


9. PABST LIGHT
Because regular Pabst wasn't nasty enough? When I think of Pabst, I think of big fat guys who would rather die than drink a light beer.


8. SCHLITZ
Taste like shitz.


7. HEINEKEN
Yes, Heineken. I hate it. It's horrible stuff. Smells and tastes like piss. "Ha, how do you know what piss tastes like, dude?" Because your mama told me.


6. ERLANGER
Looks good, doesn't it? It's not. A Schlitz product. I wish I'd read the label before drinking.


5. COOK'S
They served this stuff on 25-cent beer night when I was in college, and it was still a rip-off.


4. OLD STYLE
I drank about 15 of these one afternoon at a Cubs game back in '96 or '97. So did Spinderfella. He carried me to the El. Or maybe I carried him. Details are fuzzy. So was my tongue. I'll just say that it's no wonder Harry Caray always sounded like he had a brain injury.


3. RAINIER
The only beer available in the Canyon Lodge employee pub in Yellowstone Park during the summer of 1986. We called it "reindeer beer," and it was probably more dangerous than that bison that charged me.


2. BILLY
Jimmy Carter's fat redneck brother came out with his own brand of beer in 1977. Like his brother's presidency, Billy's beer was a disaster. Like Billy, the beer died shortly thereafter.



1. NATURAL LIGHT
"The beer that goes great with food," their ads used to claim. That's right -- you'll need something to kill the flavor. Hands down the worst beer I've ever drunk. Ever.

Vid Of The Day: Triumph at The RNC

See it soon before NBC yanks it.


link

"Caption This" Photo Of The Day (NSFW)

Pic from Keva. Ouch, Keva.


DJ sends this...

Dumb Laws Of The Day

50 dumb laws, one for each state. From Harmony and Dumblaws.com.

ALABAMA
Incestuous marriages are legal.

ALASKA
It is illegal to wake a sleeping bear so that you can take its photograph.

ARIZONA

You may not have more than two dildos in a house.
(Which leaves only one for Cindy McCain.)


ARKANSAS
School teachers who bob their hair will not get a raise.
(Neither will school teachers who do
not bob their hair.)

CALIFORNIA
Women may not drive in a house coat.

COLORADO
Tags may be ripped off of pillows and mattresses.

CONNECTICUT
It is illegal to dispose of used razor blades.

DELAWARE
“R” rated movies shall not be shown at drive-in theaters.

FLORIDA
Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.

GEORGIA
In Athens, it is illegal to make a disturbing sound at a fair.
(That excludes the sound of people horking up corn dogs and funnel cakes on the Tilt-A-Whirl - or, as we call it, the Tilt-A-Hurl.)

HAWAII
Coins are not allowed to be placed in one’s ears.

IDAHO
It is llegal for a man to give his sweetheart a box of candy weighing less than fifty pounds.

ILLINOIS
In Champaign, you may not pee in your neighbor’s mouth.

INDIANA
Oral sex is illegal.

IOWA
One-armed piano players must perform for free.

KANSAS
Rabbits may not be shot from motorboats.
(But you can still throw them by hand.)

KENTUCKY
Throwing eggs at a public speaker could result in up to one year in prison.

LOUISIANA
It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol.

MAINE
You may not step out of a plane in flight.

MARYLAND
In Baltimore, it is illegal to take a lion to the movies.

MASSACHUSETTS
At a wake, mourners may eat no more than three sandwiches.

MICHIGAN
Willfully destroying your old radio is prohibited.

MINNESOTA
Citizens may not enter Wisconsin with a chicken on their head.

MISSISSIPPI
A man may not seduce a woman by lying, and claiming he will marry her.

MISSOURI
In St. Louis, it is illegal to sit on the curb of any street and drink beer from a bucket.

MONTANA
It is illegal to have a sheep in the cab of your truck without a chaperone.

NEBRASKA
It is illegal to go whale fishing.

NEVADA
In Elko, everyone walking the streets is required to wear a mask.

NEW HAMPSHIRE
You may not tap your feet, nod your head, or in any way keep time to the music in a tavern, restaurant, or cafe.

NEW JERSEY
If you have been convicted of driving while intoxicated, you may never again apply for personalized license plates.

NEW MEXICO
Idiots may not vote.

NEW YORK
Citizens may not greet each other by “putting one’s thumb to the nose and wiggling the fingers”.

NORTH CAROLINA
It’s against the law to sing off key.

NORTH DAKOTA
It is legal to shoot an Indian on horseback, provided you are in a covered wagon.

OHIO
It is illegal for more than five women to live in a house.

OKLAHOMA
It is illegal to have the hind legs of farm animals in your boots.

OREGON
It is illegal to place a container filled with human fecal matter on the side of any highway.

PENNSYLVANIA
In Allentown, it is illegal for men to become aroused in public.

RHODE ISLAND
Any marriage where either of the parties is an idiot or lunatic is null and void.

SOUTH CAROLINA
A permit must be obtained to fire a missile.

SOUTH DAKOTA
If there are more than five Native Americans on your property, you may shoot them.

TENNESSEE
It is legal to gather and consume roadkill.

TEXAS
It is illegal to sell one's eye.

UTAH
It is a felony to persistently tread on the cracks between paving stones on the sidewalk of a state highway.

VERMONT
In Barre, all residents shall bathe every Saturday night.
(Whether they need it or not.)

VIRGINIA
It is illegal to have sex with the lights on or in any position other than missionary.

WASHINGTON
One may not spit on a bus.
(Even if the bus insulted your mother.)

WEST VIRGINIA
It is legal for a male to have sex with an animal as long as it does not exceed 40 lbs.

WISCONSIN
While all cheese making requires a license, Limburger cheese making requires a master cheese maker’s license.

WYOMING
Junk dealers may not make any business transactions with drunk persons.

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