Monday, August 25, 2008
Mars Attacks!: I stayed longer in this crapfest than I should've because I kept thinking, it's got to get funny sooner or later. It didn't. When Jack Nicholson's Vegas cowboy character appeared -- his second character of the movie -- that was it. I split.
The Crow: bleh
The Thomas Crown Affair: We were with friends so I couldn't really walk out, but I went into the lobby and played video games for the last hour of the film.
Lost In Space: I only went because my little brother wanted to see it. I sat there thinking, god, this sucks. About 45 mins into it, he looked at me and said, "This sucks." So we left.
How about you? What movies have you walked out on?
EW.com asked its readers about theirs, and here are some of their replies:
I try my best not to walk out of movies 'cause I don't want to waste my money. But the one movie I did walk out on was Hannibal. I had never seen Silence of the Lambs so I really didn't know what I was getting myself into. Boy, was I in for a surprise. I just couldn't take it. — Tiffany
It has been a while since I walked out of a movie. My wife and I trade off [picking] movies and I paid her back big time to see Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood. Thank the Lord she hated it so much that we walked out... It was ghastly and a stark reminder that as pretty as Ashley Judd is, she picks really bad movies to be in. *gag* — Ben
It was AI for me... I love sci-fi, but any movie that makes me wish that some cute little kid (okay, robot kid) would just DIE ALREADY is just too far over the creepy meter for me. — LC
300. Toward the end of the film (yeah, I grumpily stuck it out that far), the bad guy says something like ''You will not enjoy this, nor will it be over quickly.'' I decided that was the best possible review of the film and just left. — Jo
Remember the Bee Gees-Peter Frampton Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band? I actually stayed for a second showing, so that when Frampton sang ''What would you think if I sang out of tune? Would you stand up and walk out on me?'' I could stand up in the theater, yell ''YES!'' and walk out. Loudest laugh I ever got in my life. — rockgolf
I've never walked out of a movie because I've been offended (though I have turned DVDs off), but I had to leave the screening of The Bourne Ultimatum because the shaky camerawork gave me a huge migraine. It looked like a good film, but I HATE how filmmakers think handheld cameras make a movie artistic, when it's really just nausea-inducing shoddy camerawork. I got my money back, too. — Becky
Though Peter Berg has redeemed himself since (especially with Friday Night Lights - the series), Very Bad Things remains one of the most repellent theatrical experiences I've been subject to. I'm still scratching my head at the massive talent that signed on for that soulless piece of garbage. — Brian
I remember happily and speedily walking out of Seven Years In Tibet. Frankly, it felt like the movie was seven years long. Not even shirtless Brad Pitt coulda kept me in that theater. — Nick R.
The first time was Solaris. The one with George Clooney. I chose to walk around aimlessly in the freezing rain instead. — rachelle
The recent movie I REALLY wanted to leave was Bad Santa, which my movie-prude father selected as our family's holiday movie. We begged him to choose the heart-warming Elf, but he swore the Bad Santa movie was the one he heard recommended on the Hallmark Channel. Talk about a Christmas memory. — snores
My most recent walk out: Sin City. Visually stunning, to be sure, but also pornographically violent. By the time [Elijah Wood, pictured] got systematically dismembered and fed to wolves while still alive — and that by the film's HERO, mind you — I was ready to make my exit. — GW
Eyes Wide Shut. My hubby & I were on a double date with friends of ours whom we had set up and who were on their first date together. Of course we had to pick a film that contained an orgy scene! LOL! I
The only movie I ever HAD to walk out on was In the Cut. The camera work was so all over the place that I actually got nauseous. Meg Ryan was all lips and no talent. — Carolyn
First and only time I ever walked out of the theater: Oliver Stone's Alexander. A half-hour into the film I was envying the many, many Persians who had been decapitated onscreen by the sharp Macedonian blade of the dull Colin Farrell. — DavidFor the rest, see the full article at EW.com
My womenDate: 2008-08-13, 6:40AM EDT
Laura. You were hot. I was not. You let me fuck you because I was funny. Thank you.
Kim. We smoked a lot of weed and drank all the time. I don't remember much.
Sarah. You were hot. But a total bitch. I could have done better. You treated me like shit. I put up with it because you had a great vagina. Beautiful.
Another Kim. You thought you were smart. You weren't. I was bored.
Charlee. I liked your name and the way it was spelled.
Rachel. You were really sweet and nice. Stop emailing me. It's been fifteen years. It's creeping me out and pissing off my wife. Fucking classmates.com.
Megan. I wanted you since highschool. I was kinda dissapointed when it happened.
Jennifer. What the hell was I thinking? What the hell were you thinking? You smelled kinda funny too. Your dad was a dick.
Jill. You had HUGE nipples. Couldn't feel a thing though. Shame all that nippleage going to waste.
Michelle. You were a drug addict. You have to be pretty fucked up for me of all people to say that.
Another Megan. I lost your number.
Laura. I did it for the novelty of going out with a girl that I went out with ten years before. You were still hot. I got kinda hot. We were better matched. Thanks again. Sorry I dumped you. You were a shitty tipper. I had no choice. Some handsome and cool shitty tipping guy probably grabbed you. Or some funny wanker.
Another another Megan. I've dated a lot of Megans. This one was no prize.
Debby. You were really smart except you had no self-esteem. Be careful or some asshole is going to own you and that would be sad. You're smart and pretty and have great tits. Smaller tits can be awesome too.
Sophia. Liked your name. Liked that you worked out a lot. You seemed nice but you fucked up my credit. User.
Andrea. You had that adorable petite look that I can only call the "Penelope Cruz" look. Too bad you didn't have her personality.
Emily. NOBODY FUCKING CARES YOUR FAMILY IS RICH. You'd be okay if you were not preoccupied with wealth you did not personally aquire.
Dr. Sanderson. You worked to much. You were kinda cold. I thought you were cool though but you are so career motivated you probably did not give a shit about anything else. I got drunk once and thought about asking you to marry me though. I still wonder if you would have.
Elizabeth. You are my wife. My wife is perfect. My life is perfect.
Violet. You are my daughter. When I looked in on you tonight I had that rush of feeling so strong that a shiver went through my whole body and I had to move my hands really quickly to dissipate it's physical effect. Before I met you I was a "kids are no big deal, everyone's got kids and they're not that fucking special" kinda guy. You fucking ruined me. I'm gay for kids now. I love you so much baby.
My unborn 6 month old fetal daughter. If you come out retarded or ugly as shit I'll still love and protect you.