Thursday, August 14, 2008

Movie Trailer Of The Day: Dark Knight, Kid Version

Awesome. From TheMovieGuru and Wizard TV.

There's two minutes of black after the trailer is over, I guess in case you need time to process what you've seen.


Incredible Breaking News Of The Day

My sis just sent me this. I sure hope it's not some kind of hoax. It's time for the truth to come out.

But... Georgia? Since when was Bigfoot trolling around Georgia? Oh wait - my mother-in-law lives in Georgia. Never mind.



Bigfoot Trackers Say They've Got a Body

FOX News 8/14/08

Bigfoot may have been found. Maybe. We'll see.

Two Northern California men and two Georgians say they've got a body, a photo and DNA evidence pertaining to the elusive forest-dwelling man-ape — and that they'll reveal all at a press conference in Palo Alto, Calif., on Friday.

"I think you'll find that this is the real deal," Robert Barrows of Redwood City, Calif., told the Bay City News local wire service.

Matthew Whitton, a cop in Clayton County, Ga., and his friend Rick Dyer, a former corrections officer, say they recently found the body in the woods of northern Georgia.

Veteran Bigfoot tracker Tom Biscardi said he's examined the body, and that scientists will get their chance soon.



(Boy am I gonna get it when I get home tonight...)

20 Fall Movies We Can't Wait To See

"We" being the fine folks at EW.com, although I'm looking forward to plenty of these myself. And looky what's on the list!


BURN AFTER READING
Sept. 12
Brad Pitt, Frances McDormand, John Malkovich, George Clooney

After the bleak masterpiece that was No Country for Old Men, the Coen brothers are back in screwball territory with this caper comedy about gym employees (Pitt and McDormand) who come across a top-secret CD (the computer kind, not the Miley Cyrus kind) and try to use it to blackmail a CIA agent (Malkovich).


BODY OF LIES
Oct. 10
Leonardo DiCaprio, Russell Crowe

Judging from the title alone, we'd guess this was a mid-'90s erotic thriller (those were the days, huh?). But Lies is actually a Basinger-free spy drama about shady double-crossing CIA agents. The plot might be a tad twisty, but with Crowe and DiCaprio on board, you can bet there's going to be some Method to this madness.


W
Oct. 17
Josh Brolin, Elizabeth Banks

Oliver Stone's George W. Bush biopic not only will be one of the most talked-about movies of this fall but also has the potential to be one of the most chuckle-worthy flicks of the season, oddly enough. If the film's half as funny as its trailer — which features a hard-partying, twentysomething Bush (Brolin) getting into a car crash and arguing with George Sr. while ''What a Wonderful World'' plays in the background — we'll be there. — Kate Ward


HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 3: SENIOR YEAR
Oct. 24
Zac Efron, Vanessa Hudgens, Ashley Tisdale

Troy (Efron), Gabriella (Hudgens) and the rest of the Wildcats will finally say — or rather, sing — goodbye to East High in the series' first trip to the big screen. But before they go, they'll have to make it through prom, the spring musical, and graduation — all while flashing constant smiles and jazz hands. Best of luck, kids!


CHANGELING
Oct. 31
Angelina Jolie, John Malkovich, Jeffrey Donovan

Clint Eastwood directed this intense drama about a mother (Jolie) who deals with the mysterious reappearance of her lost child. The movie got great buzz at Cannes, where some critics predicted Oscar noms for its director and star. But can Jolie go from Wanted to respected in only a few short months?


QUANTUM OF SOLACE
Nov. 7
Daniel Craig, Gemma Arterton, Judi Dench

Solace, which begins right where 2006's Casino Royale left off, follows 007 as he battles a global conspiracy and an organization with a mysterious acronym (QUANTUM). We're first in line for the 22nd James Bond film, even if Craig doesn't break out that eye-catching swimsuit again (but we can certainly dream!). — Kate Ward


AUSTRALIA
Nov. 14
Nicole Kidman, Hugh Jackman

Olivia Newton-John's homeland finally gets the big-screen treatment in this old-school epic from director Baz ''Budget Be Damned'' Luhrmann. Kidman stars as an English rose who travels to the continent before World War II on business, only to fall for a hunky Aussie cowboy (Jackman). Yeah, we'd go Down Under for him, too.


THE ROAD
Nov. 14
Viggo Mortensen, Charlize Theron

Cormac McCarthy's 2006 post-apocalyptic novel about a dying man who tries to lead his young son to safety was a critical darling that grabbed the attention of readers and, yes, even Oprah (not to mention us — The Road nabbed the No. 1 spot on EW's New Classics book list). So why should the film adaptation be any different? Though certainly bleak, the film has Oscar written all over it. And when has Mortensen ever let us down? — Kate Ward


HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE
Nov. 21
Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson

The Hogwarts crew is back to administer our yearly Potter fix. This time, along with the usual ghouls and monsters, Harry & Co. have to deal with a particularly devious foe: hormones. We always thought ''horcrux'' sounded dirty.


TWILIGHT
Dec. 12
Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson

Since Breaking Dawn, Stephenie Meyer's final installment in her teen vampire-centric franchise, bowed at No. 1 on nearly all the best-seller lists, why not catch up to tween readers nationwide — and enjoy some vampire eye candy — by seeing the movie version of book 1, which follows a girl (Stewart) who falls in love with a handsome bloodsucker (Pattinson). — Kate Ward


THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON
Dec. 25
Brad Pitt, Cate Blanchett

In an effort to make people of all ages feel bad about the way they look, Brad Pitt reteams with his Fight Club director, David Fincher, for this bittersweet fantasy about a man who ages in reverse from 80 back down to infancy. But can baby Brad actually hope to out-cute Shiloh?


REVOLUTIONARY ROAD
Dec. 26
Kate Winslet, Leonardo DiCaprio

Don't miss the boat on this one: Titanic stars Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio are back together for a decidedly unsentimental portrait of a marriage, based on Richard Yates' 1961 novel.


MARLEY & ME
Dec. 25
Owen Wilson, Jennifer Aniston

Adapted from John Grogan's best-selling novel — a memoir about life with a hopeless yellow Lab named Marley — comes this romcom about a journalist (Wilson, in his first role since his reported suicide attempt last summer) and his wife (Aniston) who move to Miami and decide to adopt a puppy that would inevitably become a bigger part of the family than they ever expected. — Lindsay Soll

For the rest, see the full article at EW.com

Late addition... Lily wrote to say she's looking forward to seeing The Time Traveler's Wife this December after reading the book.



From EW: Rachel McAdams (Wedding Crashers) will star in New Line's adaptation of Audrey Niffenegger's best-selling novel The Time Traveler's Wife. Eric Bana (Munich) will play Henry De Tamble, a librarian at Chicago's Newberry Library who is afflicted with a gene that causes him to travel through time involuntarily. Henry and Clare first meet as a result of Henry's time travel, and although they realize they are soul mates, their relationship is strained by Henry's disorder.

George Carlin's Dirty Words List: Vagina

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(A rerun, requested by The Courteous Chihuahua)

Nicknames for the vagina, compiled by comedian George Carlin. I highlighted my favorites.

ace of spades
adam's cave
altar of love
baby box
bearded clam
beaver
belly entrance
biscuit
black bess
black box
blossom
bluebeard's closet
box
briar patch
brown madam
bullseye
bunny
bush
button hole
cabbage patch
canal
candle holder
carnal canyon
Cap'n Fuzzy
cat's meat

cave of harmony
cave of the 7th happiness
cavern
cellar door
chute
chocha
clamper
cleft
clutch
cockpit
cooch/coochie
cookie
cooter
cooze
coupler
crack
cranny
crease
crevice
crumpet
dimple
divine scar
donut
eel-skinner
Ellie Mae Clamp-it
envelope
fig bush
figgy pudding
fish tank
flower
Fort Bushy
front window
furbox
furburger
furrow gap
gaper
gash
gate of heaven
ginch (who stole Christmas?)
ginny
girl-street
glove
glove of love
goat-milker
gravy-maker
gully-hole
hair pie
happy valley
harbor of hope
hatch
hedgehog
hog eye
hole
honey-hive
honey-pot
hoohoo
horse collar
hot box
hot spot
house under the hill
irish fortune
itching jenny
jack nasty-face
jaxy
jelly-roll
juice box
keyhole
lady jane
lamp of love
lapland
latching lucy
lather-maker
little mary
locker
long-eye
love sponge
love tunnel
lower lips
magpie's nest
manhole
mark of the beast
meat
meat curtains
meat grinder
missy-thang
mom's homemade slit pie
mother's little secret
mound
mount pleasant
mouse
mouth-that-cannot-bite
muff
naf
nature's tufted treasure
nest
niche
nook
nooky
notch
oat-bin
old mossyface
organ grinder
oven
oyster catcher
patch
pelt
pen wiper
pie
piece
pin cushion
pipe cleaner
piss flaps
pit
playpen
pocker
poke hole
poontang
poor man's blessing
prick
purse
pussy
puta
quiff
quill sharpener
quim
quiver
rose
sachet
sausage wrap
Sir Muffenstein
slash
slit
slot
snake charmer
snapper
snappin' clam
snappin' turtle
snatch
snatch-box
socket
sportsman's gap
stank
steam room
stuff
sugar basin
tail
temple of low men
tool chest
toy shop
treasure chest
trench
triangle
trim
tube
tuna
taca tunnel
tunnel of love
twat
tweeze
twinkie-lee
twitcher
vag
vajayjay
valley
velvet glove
venus highway
vertical smile
victoria's secret
wet cave of lust
wet weasel
whisker biscuit
wooly-burger
yawnie
yum-yum

Wedding Of The Day

Ah, Georgia. My home. Click the pic for a presentation that will bring a tear to your eye. Audio required.

Link from Cajun Willie, professional catfish noodler.


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Kurt Vonnegut's 8 Rules For Writing Fiction

1. Use the time of a total stranger in such a way that he or she will not feel the time was wasted.

2. Give the reader at least one character he or she can root for.

3. Every character should want something, even if it is only a glass of water.

4. Every sentence must do one of two things -- reveal character or advance the action.

5. Start as close to the end as possible.

6. Be a sadist. Now matter how sweet and innocent your leading characters, make awful things happen to them -- in order that the reader may see what they are made of.

7. Write to please just one person. If you open a window and make love to the world, so to speak, your story will get pneumonia.

8. Give your readers as much information as possible as soon as possible. To heck with suspense. Readers should have such complete understanding of what is going on, where and why, that they could finish the story themselves, should cockroaches eat the last few pages.

-- Kurt Vonnegut, Bagombo Snuff Box: Uncollected Short Fiction (New York: G.P. Putnam's Sons, 1999), 9-10.

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