School starts back tomorrow, so we're doing some serious housecleaning today, throwing out old school papers, unwanted toys, duplicate DVDs, stale pretzels, etc. We get more done if the kid doesn't try to help, so she gets a pass for the day... until she makes a fatal mistake.
"I'm bored," she whines.
Heh. Two words you should never say to this mom and dad. When I hear those words, my eyes light up and I get an atomic mushroom cloud in a thought bubble over my head, just like when Beavis gets a great idea on "Beavis & Butthead."
"Oh, really?" I say, grinning like a pole cat with canary feathers in its mouth.
Nineteen seconds later she's on the floor with a brillo pad trying to scrape all the gunk out of the bottom of the recycling bin, which was starting to put off a mild stench. She's not enjoying this, and realizing boredom might not be such a bad thing.
"It won't come out!" she whines.
"Show me how you're doing it," I say. She does. Let's just say the kid's not giving it her all. I think a double amputee could scrub harder.
"Nuh uh," I says. "You gotta do better than that."
And then a song comes to me.
"I'll tell you what you gotta do, child" I say. Then I sing her this song.