This week's offerings from my friends at Comedy.com.
Porn On The Fourth Of July (NSFW)
10 Worst #1 Hits Of The Last 10 Years
Crazy Fat Kid Sings Crazy Catchy Song
Where The Hell Is Matt's Girlfriend?
9 Things Bloggers Care About That The Rest Of The World Doesn't
Thursday, July 3, 2008
And people said they'd never last...
1 YEAR OR LESS
Mike Tyson & Robin Givens - 1 year (1988-89)
Alyssa Milano & Cinjun Tate - 10 months (1999)
Shannen Doherty & Rick Salomon - 9 months (2002)
Travis Barker & Melissa Kennedy - 9 months (2001-02)
Jim Carrey & Lauren Holly - 9 months (1996-97)
Jennifer Lopez & Cris Judd - 8 months (2001-02)
Axl Rose & Erin Everly - 7 months (1990-91)
6 MONTHS OR LESS
Drew Barrymore & Tom Green - 5 months (2001)
Shannen Doherty & Ashley Hamilton - 5 months (1993-94)
Dennis Rodman & Carmen Electra - 5 months (1998-99)
Charlie Sheen & Donna Peele - 5 months (1995-96)
Pam Anderson & Rick Salomon - less than 5 months (2007-8)
Janet Jackson & James DeBarge - 4 months (1984-85)
Renee Zellweger & Kenny Chesney - 4 months (2005)
Nicholas Cage & Lisa Marie Presley - 4 months (2002; separated after four months but took two years to finalize their divorce)
Pam Anderson & Kid Rock - 4 months (2006)
R. Kelly & Aaliyah - under 3 months (1994; marriage was annulled when a court found out she lied about her age to get married. She was only 15)
1 MONTH OR LESS
Ethel Merman & Ernest Borgnine (!) - 1 month (1964)
Drew Barrymore & Jeremy Thomas - 1 month (1994). Maybe marriage just isn't your thing, Drew.
Darva Conger & Rick Rockwell - 3 weeks (2000; met and married on FOX's TV show, "Who Wants to Marry a Multi-Millionaire?")
Robert Evans & Catherine Oxenberg - 12 days (1998)
Dennis Hopper & Michelle Phillips - 8 days (1971)
Britney Spears & Jason Allen Alexander - 55 hours (2004)
ONE LOUSY DAY
Robin Givens & Syetozar Marinkovic - August 22, 1997
Zsa Zsa Gabor & Felipe De Alba - April 13, 1983
These gals might not turn up on anybody's top five list, but I'd get jiggy wid em.
Robin Meade (CNN)
I love her headlines.
Ashley Jensen ("Extras," "Ugly Betty")
I got something extra ugly for her
Jean Smart ("Designing Women," "24")
My favorite MILF
Kristen Wiig ("Saturday Night Live," Knocked Up)
She's funny, and funny is sexy
Megyn Price ("Grounded For Life")
Ground me. Spank me.
Wendie Malick ("Just Shoot Me")
If you say so, baby. A little skinny for my taste, but what the hell.
Martie McBride (The Dixie Chicks)
I'm ready to make nice
"This just in ..."
Unknown mugshot girl
You've been a very bad girl. I might have to use my nightstick.
Oh, I'll handle her, all right.
I got your union, baby.
You heard me. It wouldn't be easy, but if the subject of Bea Arthur ever comes up, how many people on this earth can say, "Bea Arthur? Yeah, I nailed her."