Real quotes from people I've worked for over the years.
"Not everyone gets promoted to busboy. You gotta prove yourself on the dish line first. Only the best make busboy."
"Just go for it. We can apologize later. It's easier to ask for forgiveness than permission."
"You get an hour for lunch, but try to be back in 45 minutes so whoever's covering your register can take their hour."
"Write whatever you want. Nobody listens to that crap anyway." (Referring to "coming up next" narration over the end credits of a TV show.)
"The good news is, I can hire you. The bad news is, I can't pay you." (And I said yes. It was my first TV job and I wanted to break in. A month later they started paying me.)
"I don't want to hear the phones ringing three or four times! You guys should answer them before they even ring."
"I like the spot. I don't really get the script, the VO is all wrong, and the music is awful. Otherwise it's great."
"You didn't show enough enthusiasm at the staff meeting. Everyone else seemed really into it."
"Where do you see yourself in five years?" (It took every ounce of willpower I had not to say, "Anywhere but here.")
Let's hear yours.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Dang, I wish I'd known about this in the 80s when I flunked out of breakdancing class. Yes, that's Carlton from The Fresh Prince.
A great list idea from LOTD newcomer Collaroy.
Along with trace amounts of junk in his groin
"He seemed really tense," she said.
And then teach him how to wipe
Let us know how that goes
And discovers the sound of one hand clapping
The whore has a point
"Smells like ass," they say.
Living in Utah must be rougher than I imagined
Here, put one in your hands. They love it.
"Pinches off a giant piece of weekend box office."
Seaman shoots... he scores!
Police let him go with a warning and some Tic Tacs
Explosive issue finally reaches satisfying conclusion
But Nike still kisses his ass
Do you have a permit for that thing?
They celebrate with dinner at the Y
She's gonna be busy
Over $10,000 raised for the Eyeless Children Fund
In related news, local man gives birth to 11 biscuits
What are the odds?
"... and find it difficult to fit in."
Then farts, rolls over and goes to sleep
Then, not surprisingly, lied about taking it in the butt
Photos from Oddee.com, CollegeHumor.com, Flickr.com.