Monday, June 23, 2008

SNL Clip Of The Day: Activia

I ate Wow chips once. Once.

From FunnyOrDie.com


Vid Of The Day: Lottery Winners

Works for me! From Amy.


video

Ex-Boyfriend Jewelry Of The Day

From Jadzia, selections from ExBoyfriendJewelry.com, a site where spurned lovers can sell unwanted jewelry from former partners. Men are pigs... but hey, you ladies keep coming back for more shit.

Click descriptions to see the full listing.


Diamond/ruby wedding ring: "I highly recommend doing a credit check before you get married."


Blue diamond ring: "I met him on MySpace....then later he said he 'needed a break' and I heard some girl giggling in the background."


Australian opal pendant necklace: "He should have left the evil witch Down Under."

14K 1.5 carat white gold: "Anniversary ring, no sentimental value since he cheated on me!"


Tiffany jewelry: "From an ex-friend...I figure I could make a few bucks off that back-stabbing snake."


Beautiful sterling silver and clear Cz heart ring: "He even admitted to stalking me outside my bedroom window while we were dating..."


Men's platinum and diamond wedding band: "A year after we married, he went to a bachelor party in las vegas and said he wanted a divorce the next day..."


Weil ladies gold links watch: "Ten years together and ONE watch to show for it. Good grief!"


Diamond "circle of love": "I was expecting a diamond ring."


One-of-a-kind wedding set: "He and my daughter fought worse than a brother and sister. He had to go!"


Ladies pearl and diamond ring: "His mother not only picked it out, but paid for it."


Diamond and lizard watch: "Yet another piece that my ex-husband convinced me to buy myself as a gift from him ...!"

And from the section called "Gifts That Should Have Been Jewelry"


Chanel Sunglasses: "Because he thinks he shouldn't pay child support since we aren't together anymore..."


2008 Cruefest tickets: "He bought these knowing I wanted to go, but used MY credit card and bought tix for his friends."


RARE snakeskin purse: "He was 27 and still lived at home."


MP4 player: "Another 'I'm sorry' gift."


Dooney wallet: "Another 'I'm sorry' gift."


Kathy Van Zeland bag: "Another 'I'm sorry' gift."


Black Coach wallet: "Another 'I'm sorry' gift."

Kid's Artwork Of The Day

Of course they are scissors. From Bubbasmom.

George Carlin's Dirty Words: Sex

George Carlin
1937-2008

Euphemisms for fornication, compiled by comedian George Carlin. If you write letters to Penthouse, here's a gold mine for ya. Got any to add?

ball
baloney ride
bananas and cream
bang
beef injection
belly ride
belt
blanket drill
blow off the loose corns
board
boff
bone
bore
bump fur
bump uglies
bury your wick
bury the bone
bush patrol
buzz the brillo cane
change your luck
chuck a tread
cock up
dance the mattress jig
daub of the brush
dick
dunk
diddle
dig your stinger in the honey
dip your stick
dip your wick
dirty work at the crossroads
do
do a dive in the dark
do a slide up the board
dog
do it
do the dirty deed
do the horizontal bop
do the nasty
feather-bed jig
feed the dummy
fiddle
firk
fit end to end
fix her plumbing
flesh session
flop
flop in the hay
four-legged frolic
fuck
get a crumpet
get a little
get a piece
get a snipper
get a wet one
get into her pants
get it on
get jack in the orchard
get laid
get lucky
get
your ashes hauled
get
your leather stretched
get
your noodle wet
get
your oil changed
get some
get some action
get some ass
get some stuff
get some tail
get some tweeze
get your bean waxed
get your pole varnished
give her a stab
go all the way
go like a belt-fed motor
go to bed with
go to it
go to town
go vaulting
grease the wheel
grind
grind
your tool
hanky-panky
have a bit of giblet pie
have a bit of summer cabbage (huh?)
have a blow through
have sex with
hide the ferret
hide the salami
hit on the tail
hock
hop on
horizontal bop
horizontal hula
horizontal refreshment
hose
hot roll with cream
hump
impale
introduce charlie
invade
irish whist
jazz
jink
job
join paunches
jounce
joy ride
jug
juke
jump
jump
your bones
knock
knock off a piece
know
lay
lay some pipe
lay the hip
make feet for children's shoes
make it
make love
make babies
make the beast with two backs
make whoopie
mate
mattress dance
mess around
mingle limbs
mix your peanut butter
mount
mugg
nail
nib
nub
nut
park your yacht in the hair harbor
peel
your best end
peg
pestle
pile-drive
pin
plant
your oats
play at all fours
play hide the bone
plow
pluck
plug
pocket the red
poke
pole work
pop
pork
post a letter
pound
pump
put a finger in the dyke
put the boots to
put the tool in the shed
quimstick
ram
ride
rites of venus
roast the broomstick
roll
roll in the hay
rock
rod
roger
romp
root
roust
rub bacon
rub up
rumble
rumple
rut
saw off a chunk
score
screw
scutz around
service
shack up
shaft
shag
shake the sheets
shoot between wind and water
shoot
your wad
short arm practice
shove
shtup
sink the sausage
sink the soldier
slam
slip her a length
slip into
split
spoil
squat on the hog
squat jumps in the cucumber patch
squeeze and a squirt
stab
stable
your naggie
strop
your beak
strum
stuff
swing
tail-work
take a turn in the stubble
take a turn on shooter's hill
tear off a piece
the disappearing cane trick
the matrimonial polka
thread the needle
throw a hump
throw a leg over
thump
tie the true lover's knot
tip the long one
tool in the woods
trim the buff
trip up
the Rhine tumble
tumple
turn up
twiddle
varnish one's cane
vitamin F
wap
wham
what mother did (I'd rather not think about that)
wind the clock
work out
work the hairy oracle
yard
yentz

Great Moments In Michael McDonald

I celebrate his entire catalog.



This one's from TheMovieGuru





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