Check out these real cruises you can take with washed-up rock bands. I wonder how the ships stay afloat under the weight of all that suck?
These are the official announcements for each cruise...sort of. I made them a little more honest. Most have already happened, but, lucky you, I bet they'll sail again in '09.
The Rock Boat VIII will depart MLK Weekend 2008 from Miami, FL, leaving Saturday, January 19, 2008, for a five-day festival (of suck) at sea!
Sister Hazel, Alternate Routes, Marc Broussard, Keith Kane of Vertical Horizon (couldn't even get the whole sucky band?), Josh Kelley... and a whole bunch of other people you never heard of.
We are traveling on the Carnival Imagination with port stops in Jamaica and Grand Cayman (for those who haven't jumped overboard by then).
Lynyrd Skynyrd and Sixthman are proud (?) to announce our second helping, Lynyrd Skynyrd’s Simple Man Cruise, January 10-14, 2008, a 4-day "music" "vacation" on board a luxury cruise liner with a visit to Key West and Calica.
Departing Miami on January 10, 2008 on the Carnival Imagination, Simple Man Cruise 2008 features up-close-and- personal concerts from Lynyrd Skynyrd, with a dozen or so bands from the rock and country worlds still to be announced (because we don't want to scare people away).
The cruise features unique artist interaction (wink wink), an Open Mic night (bad covers of "Gimme Three Steps" and "Free Bird") and more, all while experiencing a world-
class crass Carnival cruise.
Vince Neil's Motley Cruise with Ratt, Skid Row and Slaughter. Does it get any better than this? (Yes, it does. Death, for example.). Please note that Motley Crue is not involved. (Please note that actual music is not involved.)
The Mayercraft Carrier is a 3-day Caribbean cruise that sets sail on February 1, 2008 from Miami, FL and visits Freeport, Bahamas before returning on February 4, 2008.
The cruise will feature sets by John in nightclub-like settings (i.e. the game room with all the games turned off) as well as performances by a dozen or so other hand-picked artists (hand-picked by John to make sure they all suck so no one upstages him.)
All of this takes place aboard the Carnival Victory, a member of the Carnival fleet that includes all the luxurious amenities Carnival is known for, such as a full-service spa, fine dining, a casino, hepatitis, watered-down drinks, lost luggage, and much more.
After the rip-roaring, head-bobbing (i.e. it blew), floating shitfest that was Ships & Dip I, Barenaked Ladies and Sixthman are thrilled to announce Ships & Dip III for January 2008. (We can't talk about Ships & Dip II, as the investigation into the sinking is still an open case.)
The Music and Comedy keep flowing as BNL and their
fabulous fatuous friends set sail aboard the Carnival Victory from January 27-February 1, 2008, sailing from Miami to Grand Cayman and Ocho Rios, Jamaica! Tyler Stewart of BNL says, "Screw Ships & Dip II, last year was so awesome, we're going straight to 3!! Not 3-D, though, that'd be crap." (LOL!!! HA HA HA HA HA HA OMG ROFLMFAO!!!)
Expect the same non-stop music and fun of Ships & Dip I, including the return of Guster, The New Odds, Jason (the ship's) Plumb(er) and Gaelic Storm.
Let's do it again folks, only let's have everyone show up for the Naked photo on the top deck this time! See You on the Cruise!! (I love Random capitalization, don't You?)
Don't miss the 15th Annual Rock & Roll Caribbean Cruise!
This exclusive cruise (no other cruise line would touch this floater) is pure Rock & Roll fun with legendary (i.e. ancient) performers from the 60's (and IN their 60s) and beyond (some might be in their 70s by now).
Don't worry, all ships equipped with wheelchair ramps, and dinner is served daily starting at 3:30 so you can be in bed by 7 sharp.