Saturday, May 17, 2008
Having spent far too much time on the TV show name mash-up generator this afternoon, I have compiled a list of the best, along with proposed synopses of some of them:
Wait Till Your Father Gets Spoons
The King of Soap
Return of the Man from Birds
My Mother the Kotter
(in which Mr. Kotter gets a sex change operation, and wacky hijinks ensue)
Married ... with Turtles
My Name is No Deal
The Joker's Home
(one of those ubiquitous sitcoms in which the husband/father is a boob, and everyone makes fun of him as soon as he arrives home in the evening)
Bosom Dead or Alive
Passport to No Deal
(in which Mr. Kotter's SON gets a sex change)
(a show about a superhero who has baseball gloves instead of hands)
Father Knows Music
(perhaps an adaptation of "Mr. Holland's Opus")
The Wonder Anatomy
(this one likely belongs on pay-per-view)
That's So Emergency!
Hardcastle & Warrior Princess
(I like the juxtaposition of "castle" and "princess" here)
(well, they did say, "Space: the final frontier")
Doogie Howser, Martian
(no doubt a Saturday morning cartoon)
Land of the Susan
(a show about a planet that is ruled by a lazy Susan)
Starsky and Betty
(this is what happens after Hutch gets promoted and Starsky gets a new partner -- a woman with self-esteem issues)
Mutual of Omaha's Wild Birds
(need I explain?)
Cannon Home Videos
Starsky and Mother
My So-Called Man
(about a cranky old guy who lives near the High School of Performing Arts and gets sick of those damn "Fame" kids dancing all the damn time)
Two and a Half People
Beauty and the Beaver
The Weakest Mama
(arm-wrestling competitions for stay-at-home mothers)
Big Blue Doody
(Judge John Travolta passes judgment on random folks plucked from the dance floors of nightclubs everywhere)
(nah -- too easy)
Wanted Dead or Afire
(what happens when a pyromaniac becomes a bounty hunter)
Make Room for Turtles
Gimme a Chris
Curb Your Dear
Name That Bunch
(a show on the Food Network i n which blindfolded participants are asked to identify fruit)
The Price is Eddie's Father
(the successor to "The Sopranos")
Mad About Children
(hosted by Michael Jackson)
I Married Menace
(sounds like one of those overly dramatic crime shows from the 1950s)
(WAY too easy)
Two Guys and Television
(they fight over the remote a lot)
Welcome Back, Fatman
Teenage Mutant Ninja Woodpecker
(I think the title says it all)
I Dream of Consequences
Mutual of Omaha's Wild UNCLE
(the all-caps thing adds a lot, I think)
My Mother the Mama
Suddenly Sea Monsters
(a miniseries about kids who order sea monkeys from the back of a comic book and are unpleasantly surprised when they turn out to be much larger than expected)
King of the Pains
Married ... with Fatman
The Wind in the Raymond
The Rockford Prairie
Everybody Hates McCormick
(another cooking show, sponsored by Schilling)
What I Like About Housewives
Mad About Thunder
(a show about a guy who is obsessed with the weather channel)
Dancing with the Kangaroo
My Mother the Warrior Princess
That's My Woodpecker
Father Knows Ghost
Diagnosis Where Are You?
(a group of inept physicians tries to help hapless patients)
Name That Daddy
(a natural spinoff of Jerry Springer)
Wheel of Dads
Sigmund and the Sales Show
(a very boring local-access show hosted by a realtor named Sigmund, explaining his sales techniques ad nauseam)
Malcolm in the Hooker
(WAY too racy for network TV)
(a Discovery channel show in which plastic surgeons explain breast augmentation)
(yeah, I'm not going there)
Dancing with the Chachi
Chico and the Boat
(a prequel to "Chico and the Man," about how Chico came to the U.S.)
My So-Called Ties
(a man with low self-esteem hates his wardrobe)
Wait Till Your Father Gets Birds
Truth or Sheep
(a sitcom about the wacky hijinks outside an abortion clinic)
Chico and the Beast
(yet another sex-change sitcom)
I asked, you answered...
Igor: Abby Normal.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Abby Normal?
Igor: I'm almost sure that was the name.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Are you saying that I put an abnormal brain into a seven and a half foot long, fifty-four inch wide GORILLA?
- Shawn P.
"Bob Geldof?" - Holly L.
"Spitting image of Bob Geldof." - Kim F.
"That’s Phil Spector, no?" - Joe S.
"Phil Spector." - Amy M.
"Kinda reminds me of Nick Nolte" - Adam P.
"Reminds me of Nick Tortelli, the ex-husband of Carla on 'Cheers.' - Mindy J.
"British comedian Phil Cool" - Marie L.
"Looks like Fran Lebowitz" - Angela C.
"Tim Burton with a hunchback" - Mike D.
"It's Ygor, Mr. Fronkensteen." - Anonymous