I don't usually post this many Onions in a week but this one made me laugh out loud.
I can't tell you how many interns just like this that I met when I worked at that Big TV Company. They'd come in not knowing how to write a decent line of promo copy, spend half a day on a shoot and another half in an edit suite, most of both on the phone, talking to their little girlfriend or boyfriend back at college, and then the next day they'd proclaim, "I think I'm ready to produce now. When can I start?"
"Right now," I'd reply, tossing them my keys and a bucket."Go produce a clean car for me, Fucko."