Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Thank you

I want to thank all of you who read LOTD, send me e-mails and list ideas, and leave comments on posts. I'm thrilled that people are enjoying the blog.

My goal at first was to respond to every comment, but I've realized that there's just no way, so please don't be offended if I don't. Rest assured that I do read every comment and enjoy all the wit that my readers bring to the blog. You're a funny bunch of mo-fo's!

If you've written me and I did not answer, it means I did not get your e-mail. Please write again. I do answer every e-mail, usually within a day or two.

If you sent me a list idea and I have not used it yet, bear with me... chances are I will, but I'm a little backlogged right now due to a busy work schedule. If I don't use your idea or link, it's because I've used it -- or something like it -- in the past, or it's just been done to death elsewhere. I still appreciate the submission, even if I don't use it.

Thanks again for your support.

Now .. so this post isn't totally gay, click here for a pair of big boobs.

News Story Of The Day: Woman On Toilet For Two Years

When I saw the headline, I thought for sure it was about my mother-in-law. Does anyone else find it ironic that a toilet story features a spokesman named Whipple?

Sheriff: Woman sat on toilet for 2 years
AP

Wichita, Kansas -- Authorities are considering charges in the bizarre case of a woman who sat on her boyfriend's toilet for two years — so long that her body was stuck to the seat by the time the boyfriend finally called police.

Ness County Sheriff Bryan Whipple said it appeared the 35-year-old Ness City woman's skin had grown around the seat. She initially refused emergency medical services but was finally convinced by responders and her boyfriend that she needed to be checked out at a hospital.

"We pried the toilet seat off with a pry bar and the seat went with her to the hospital," Whipple said. "The hospital removed it."

Whipple said investigators planned to present their report Wednesday to the county attorney, who will determine whether any charges should be filed against the woman's 36-year-old boyfriend.

"She was not glued. She was not tied. She was just physically stuck by her body," Whipple said. "It is hard to imagine. ... I still have a hard time imagining it myself."

He told investigators he brought his girlfriend food and water, and asked her every day to come out of the bathroom. "And her reply would be, `Maybe tomorrow,'" Whipple said.

"According to him, she did not want to leave the bathroom."

Movie Of The Day: Raising Arizona

Some clips from one of my favorite movies, Raising Arizona, for Elizabeth, who has never seen it.

The trailer...dated, but still fun.



H.I. Meets Ed



The Lone Biker Of The Apocalypse



Where's Junior?

The old man counting is the proprietor of the store that Gale and Evelle (John Goodman, William Forsythe) just robbed. They told him to stay on the floor and count to 1,000 while they escaped.



Diaper Robbery

The
pièce de résistance of the movie. A long clip, but hilarious and beautifully shot and directed.


Best Action Figures Ever

(A rerun from last November)

I want every single one of these.


John Travolta in Battlefield Earth. I take it back; I don't want every single one of these.


Another Battlefield Earth. This time it's "Jonnie" in the Brainwa-- um, Learning -- Chair, forced to listen to L. Ron Hubbard's Dianetics on tape over and over again until he agrees to give all his money to the Church of Scientology.


The copy on the back reads, "Yo Vanilla! This boy is one bad rapper" (they got that right). "His hot songs and cool moves are the freshest news on the street. Check out his awesome concert wardrobe and the totally radical stripe in his hair. Pose him in a hundred dance actions. This dude can move!" So cold.


William Hootkins as Jek Porkins, the fat Rebel in Star Wars. It's bad enough that they named the fat guy "porkins," but in the movie credits, he's listed as "Morbidly Obese X-Wing Pilot." Now imagine poor Bill Hootkins taking his family to the big red-carpet premiere of Star Wars. "Ok, kids, watch the credits for Daddy's name!" "Daddy, what does 'morbidly obese' mean?"


Dennis Rodman on his wedding day.


John Travolta, Superstar. Not John Travolta in Grease. Not John in "Welcome Back, Kotter." Not even John Travola in The Boy In The Plastic Bubble. Just John Travolta, generic "on stage superstar." Ok. Too bad the doll looks more like his sister, Ellen.


Snoop Dog with Kung-Fu Doob-Grip Action (TM), so he won't drop his blunt. Looks like they put him in a Vanilla Ice doll outfit by mistake.


"Steven Seagal is NICO TOSCANI." Whoever the F that is. I actually own this one. I turned the gun around in his hands.


Kojak. Ok, the show was a hit and all, and I watched it, but I wouldn't have been caught dead playing with this thing. For starters, it looks more like Daddy Warbucks than Kojak. And that pinstripe suit? Nuh uh. Kojak wasn't a pimp, and he would kick your ass for even suggesting he wear a suit like that.


Rosie, "friend of Barbie." Run, Barbie, run! Comes with Rosie's signature red polyester pants suit, but she can also wear Ken's clothes. Why did they make this? There was already a Rosie action figure.


Gay Bob. Rosie's friend.


Kevin Costner as Robin Hood or Little Red Riding Hood.. hard to say. The real "prince of thieves" is the store owner who asks for $4.99 for this turd.


Kevin Costner in Waterworld. If you buy his Robin Hood figure, they'll throw in 20 of these for free.


William "The Fridge" Perry, who in real life is three times as wide as this figure. Why he comes with a mace, I don't know. And what's with the lace-up jockstrap?


And it talks. Perfect.


David Hasselhoff's "Baywatch Poseable Fashion Doll." Pray it doesn't sing.


Ok.


Looks like they messed up and accidentally put an Al Jolson figure on a Calibos card.


I'd like to take this one, Rosie and Nixon, and put them all in a blender.


Featuring "five points of articulation," which is a lot more articulation than the real Cletus ever had. Please note also that the name Cletus is trademarked, so please don't use it for your child, dog or truck without permission.


They sure have changed since "Mmm Bop."


Nothing says action like... Jeff Goldblum!


... or Wayne Knight!


... or Roy Scheider!!


I saw this movie. It wasn't as awful as you heard. It was ten times as awful as you heard. This is Nicky sleeping on the radiator. Because he's Satan's son. Get it?


Humungus from The Road Warrior. Weekend friend of Gay Bob.



Jon Bon Jovi and Richie Sambuca. Aren't there two or three other dudes in Bon Jovi? I bet they get tired of no one giving a shit who they are.

And now, several great selections from the Rocky collection. Someone had his thinking cap on for these.


Lumberjack Rocky from Rocky IV. Remember? When he went to Russia and trained in the snow, pulling logs on a chain with his teeth? What the hell was that? They don't have gyms in Russia?


Paulie. PAULIE?! Apparently it was necessary to make a figure of every single character in every single Rocky movie. I wonder how many kids got their asses kicked trying to trade Paulie for Clubber Lang.


Ring announcer Michael Buffer. Naturally. Because he was so integral to the movies.


The Rocky statue. That's right, a statue. Wait, aren't these called "action" figures? Last time I checked, statues don't do a whole lot. More like an "inaction figure." They should at least include a pigeon that craps on the statue's head if you press a button.


Last but not least.. THE MEAT. Yes, the side of beef that Rocky uses to train. Brilliant. A SIDE OF BEEF action figure. And a bloody butcher's smock. I wonder if they made a figure for the trash can that Rocky warms his hands over? Or the spit bucket? Or the knife Mickey uses to cut Rocky's swollen eye?

Updated: LOTD fan Vaniqua nominates her M.C. Hammer to the collection of scary action figures. Good choice, V! I have one too, but yours is much cooler.



Blong adds his two favorite douchebags action figures -- Dubya and Ann -- who say, "Mission accomplished, carymc!"


.

Mr. Skin's 9th Annual Anatomy Awards

Regan sent me this link from Fox Business.

MrSkin.com Unveils His 9th Annual Anatomy Awards

Feb 25, 2008 - In the wake of the 80th annual Academy Awards, Mr.Skin of MrSkin.com unveils the winners of his 9th Annual Anatomy Awards.

A regular rite-of-schwing since 2000, Mr. Skin's Anatomy Awards pays tribute to the finest moments in female nudity from movies and television throughout the previous year. Winners announced last year included The Break-Up's Jennifer Aniston for "Best PG-13 Nude Scene" and Loverboy star Kyra Sedgwick for "Best Over 40 Nude Scene."

The 2008 winners (with links to photos and clips, most containing nudity and/or sex. Duh.)

BREAST PICTURE
Good Luck Chuck

BEST TV SHOW
"Tell Me You Love Me" (HBO)


BEST NUDE SCENE
Marisa Tomei -
Before the Devil Knows You're Dead

BEST SHORT-FILM NUDE SCENE
Natalie Portman -
Hotel Chevalier

BEST CHEST
Keeley Hazell -
Cashback

BEST LESBIAN SCENE
Katherine Moennig and Kristanna Loken - "The L Word"

BEST UNRATED DVD SCENE
Heather Graham -
Adrift in Manhattan

BEST CARTOONY BOOBIES
Angelina Jolie -
Beowulf

MOST NIPTASTIC NIP
Milla Jovovich -
.45

BEST GROWN UP (AND OUT) CHILD STAR
Christina Ricci -
Black Snake Moan

FLUFFIEST FULL-FRONTAL
Julianne Nicholson -
Flannel Pajamas

FUNNIEST NUDE SCENE
Madeline Zima -
Californication

BEST BUTT
Gabrielle Richens -
Hack!

BEST BONDAGE SCENE
Holly Hunter - "Saving Grace"

BEST MAJOR LEAGUERS
Jessica Canseco -
Gettin' It

BEST UNDERWEAR
Jessica Biel -
I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry

BEST HALF-A-LAP
Kelli Garner -
Havoc 2: Normal Adolescent Behavior

BEST CRACK SLIP
Karina Smirnoff - "Dancing with the Stars"

BEST THONG
Cameron Richardson -
Rise: Blood Hunter

BEST THREEWAY
Return to House on Haunted Hill: Unrated

NUDECOMER OF THE YEAR
Erica Campbell

LIFETIME SKIN-CHIEVEMENT AWARD
Rosanna Arquette

Video Of The Day: Nobody Bodders Me

Another high-quality local commercial, this one from Wendy in California, who writes, "Dear Casey...." No. She writes, "The Big Bill Hell's reminded me of this old commercial from when I was a kid growing up in Maryland, and it seems everyone from Maryland, Virginia and DC area born in the 70s and earlier will remember this. The song is by Nils Lofgren of E Street Band fame. Jhoon Rhee is still kicking ass today."

Holy hell. This looks like something that Rex Kwan Do would make.



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