I Call Them...

Nicknames for some of my favorite retailers. Some I made up, others I heard elsewhere. If I slam your favorite eatery or store, don't cry; I like some of these places, but I like making fun of them more.

I hate the word eatery, btw.

Got some of your own? Hit me.

Pottery Barn = Robbery Barn

Applebee's = Crapplebee's or Applebutt's or I'll Be Right Back With Them Salads (in honor of something an Applebee's waiter in Waycross, Georgia once said to us)

Olive Garden = Ketchup & Noodles

McDonald's = Burp (when my daughter was 3-4, she called it "Old McDonalds")

Krystal/White Castle = Sliders

Waffle House = Awful House or The Hungry Bastard (ask for some booger bread on the side)

Target = Heaven

Wal-Mart = Aisle Of Cram

Fuddrucker's = Pudfuckers

Restoration Hardware = Fistoration Hardware

Subway = Suckway or Sandwich Artist's Colony

Chili's = Willi-Nilli's

Blimpie = Skimpie, Home Of The Air Sandwich

Red Lobster = Fish Stickster

Bed, Bath & Beyond = Bed, Bath and Bee-hind

Home Depot = Yes, We Have No Banana
(an inside joke between my wife and me because HD has catalogs filled with things they don't have in stock. You spend an hour picking out fixtures, then they tell you they no longer carry those particular ones.)

Outback Steakhouse = Steakback Outhouse

Taco Bell = Taco Hell or Taco Smell or Make A Run For The Toilet

Jack In The Box = Yack In A Box

Best Buy = Best Lie

Friday's = Flair (an Office Space joke)

Arby's = Barfby's

Publix = Pube-licks

Dairy Queen = Dairy Squeeze

In & Out Burger = In & Out Burger

Dunkin' Donuts = Drunken Dognuts

(originally posted 7/07)

It's that time again...

The Farting Preacher returns! (a.k.a. the farting quack evangelist)

Local News Blooper Of The Day

This little delight comes to us from Greg from Saskatoon. Nice.

TIME's All-TIME 100 Greatest Albums

A 2006 list from TIME magazine. Picks are in no order, only separated by decade. Full article here, with an explanation for each pick.

Thoughts? Glaring omissions? Speak.

My main beef: they have the Beatles covered, but where the F are Nazareth and Molly Hatchet?!

2000s
Hank Williams - The Essential Hank Williams Collection
Kanye West - The College Dropout
Sam Cooke - Portrait Of A Legend 1951-1964
Elvis Presley - Elvis: 30 No. 1 Hits
Muddy Waters - The Anthology, 1947 - 1972
Radiohead - Kid A
Outkast - Stankonia
PJ Harvey - Stories From The City, Stories From The Sea
Eminem - The Marshall Mathers LP

1990s
Elvis Presley - Sunrise
Lucinda Williams - Car Wheels On A Gravel Road
Radiohead - OK Computer
The Notorious B.I.G. - Ready To Die
Bob Dylan - Time Out Of Mind
DJ Shadow - Endtroducing...
Oasis - (What's The Story) Morning Glory
Hole - Live Through This
Mary J. Blige - My Life
Pavement - Slanted And Enchanted
Dr. Dre - The Chronic
U2 - Achtung Baby
Nirvana - Nevermind
R.E.M. - Out Of Time
Various Artists - Phil Spector, Back To Mono (1958-1969)
Garth Brooks - Ropin' The Wind
James Brown - Star Time
A Tribe Called Quest - The Low End Theory

1980s
Madonna - Like A Prayer
Beastie Boys - Paul's Boutique
The Stone Roses - The Stone Roses
Public Enemy - It Takes A Nation Of Millions To Hold Us Back
N.W.A. - Straight Outta Compton
R.E.M. - Document
Eric B. And Rakim - Paid In Full
Prince - Sign O' The Times
U2 - The Joshua Tree
Paul Simon - Graceland
Metallica - Master Of Puppets
Run-DMC - Raising Hell
Bob Marley And The Wailers - Legend
Prince - Purple Rain
Talking Heads - Stop Making Sense
Chuck Berry - The Great Twenty-Eight
Michael Jackson - Thriller
AC/DC - Back In Black

1970s
The Clash - London Calling
Parliament/Funkadelic - One Nation Under A Groove
The Sex Pistols - Never Mind The Bollocks, Here's The Sex Pistols
Fleetwood Mac - Rumours
The Eagles - Hotel California
The Ramones - Ramones
Stevie Wonder - Songs In The Key Of Life
Bruce Springsteen - Born To Run
Patti Smith - Horses
Willie Nelson - Red Headed Stranger
Al Green - Call Me
Elton John - Goodbye Yellow Brick Road
David Bowie - The Rise And Fall Of Ziggy Stardust
The Rolling Stones - Exile On Main Street
Stevie Wonder - Talking Book
Jimmy Cliff And Various Artists - The Harder They Come
Joni Mitchell - Blue
Dolly Parton - Coat Of Many Colors
David Bowie - Hunky Dory
Led Zeppelin - IV
Black Sabbath - Paranoid
The Rolling Stones - Sticky Fingers
Carole King - Tapestry
Marvin Gaye - What's Going On
The Who - Who's Next
Neil Young - After The Gold Rush
Simon & Garfunkel - Bridge Over Troubled Water
John Lennon - Plastic Ono Band
Van Morrison - Moondance

1960s
The Beatles - Abbey Road
Miles Davis - Bitches Brew
Sly & The Family Stone - Stand!
The Band - The Band
Van Morrison - Astral Weeks
Johnny Cash - At Folsom Prison
Aretha Franklin - Lady Soul
The Beatles - The Beatles ("The White Album")
The Jimi Hendrix Experience - Are You Experienced
Aretha Franklin - I Never Loved A Man The Way I Love You
The Beatles - Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band
The Velvet Underground - The Velvet Underground And Nico
Bob Dylan - Blonde On Blonde
The Beach Boys - Pet Sounds
The Beatles - Revolver
Bob Dylan - Highway 61 Revisited
Otis Redding - Otis Blue
The Beatles - Rubber Soul
John Coltrane - A Love Supreme
James Brown - Live At The Apollo (1963)
Ray Charles - Modern Sounds In Country And Western Music
Robert Johnson - King Of The Delta Blues Singers

1950s
Miles Davis - Kind Of Blue
Little Richard - Here's Little Richard
Frank Sinatra - Songs For Swingin' Lovers
Frank Sinatra - In The Wee Small Hours

Vintage Weight Watchers Recipes Of The Day

LOTD readers Velma66 and Danielle pointed me to this website that has some of the most god-forsaken dishes you've ever laid eyes on.. along with very funny commentary by site owner Wendy McClure.

A few pics here, and lots more at the site.