God bless the Internet.
The Knicker Picker
Friday, January 4, 2008
I just found out that a few members of my lunch gang have never seen these classic Hoff music vids, so I must post them. It's not fair for some of us to suffer when others live in peace, oblivious to the cruel world all around them.
Tragically, KITT took his own life after seeing the first vid. Drove himself right off the Rhine Bridge in Bonn, Germany. The spinning effects box in the second vid is classic 80s video style, baby. I've heard they used this vid and toothpicks at Abu Ghraib, Clockwork Orange-style.
Update! A bonus vid of The Hoff on the Berlin Wall, suggested by Spinderfella, loyal LOTD fan from day one. Thanks, dude.
Hammer Time! We love this song in my house. My daughter has it on her teeny little iPod shuffle... at least until she loses it. Which should be any day now, bless her little disposable-income-desposin' heart.
Hammer was on VH1's "The Surreal Life" a few years back, and seemed like a good guy. He's a minister now with his own blog. Go Hammer!
And of course, we must include Vaniqua's MC Hammer doll here as well.
A list of movies since 2000 that received a grade of F from Entertainment Weekly magazine... which is saying something, when you consider that even flicks like Encino Man, Ready To Rumble and Boogeyman got a passing grade.
I Know Who Killed Me (2007) - No one bought Lindsay Lohan as a dead stripper? Just give her a few years.
See No Evil (2006) - See no sequel.
She Hate Me (2004) - And me hated this.
But I'm A Cheerleader (2000)
The Libertine (2005) - Even Johnny Depp can't win 'em all.
Freddy Got Fingered (2001) - And you got f*sted if you paid to see this.
All The Queen's Men (2002)
My Date With Drew (2005) - Your date with DVD.
Assisted Living (2005)
Everybody's Famous (2001) - A Belgian movie with no one famous.
Shadowboxer (2006) - Your Oscar has been revoked, Mr. Gooding.
Doogal (2003) - the critics are usually more forgiving of kids' movies, so this one must really have sucked.
Youth Without Youth (2007) - From the Francis Ford Coppola who directed Jack and Godfather III, not the one who directed Godfather and Godfather II.
Femme Fatale (2002) - another Brian de Palma turd I managed to step in. How many times will I let this man steal my money?
What The Bleep Do We Know? (2004) - You know that EW hated your movie.
The Perfect Man (2005)
Wild Tigers I Have Known (2007)
Night Watch (2005) - A vampire movie from Russia. Don't we have enough suck here already without importing it?
My Boss' Daughter (2002) - Ashton Kutcher, go back to the small screen where you belong.
The Undead (2005)
In The Cut (2003) - I guess they weren't impressed with Meg Ryan's nude scene.
Garage Days (2003)
Pinocchio (2002) - the live-action version with that annoying little Italian, Roberto Begnini.
Say It Isn't So (2001) - Wha? Despite the combined comic talents of Chris Klein and Heather Graham?
See Spot Run (2001) - See David Arquette suck.
The Order (2003) - Heath Ledger's follow up to Brokeback Mountain blew more than Ennis Del Mar.
Corky Romano (2001) - Hmm. Chris Kataan is usually a good bet.
Balls of Fury (2007)
The First $20 Million Is Always The Hardest (2002) - Like they'll ever know.
In The Land Of Women (2007)
Saving Silverman (2001)
Kikujiro (2000) - Huh? I thought every Japanese movie was a masterpiece.
Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium (2007) - True story: I was on my way out the door with my child to see this when I thought, I better get online and see if it sucks.
Surviving Christmas (2004) - And it looked so good in the trailer.
Alone In The Dark (2005) - Which describes anyone who saw this in a theater.
Adam Sandler's 8 Crazy Nights (2002) - Never saw that one coming.
Boat Trip (2003) - Your Oscar has been revoked, Mr. Gooding! Turn it in. Now.
Where The Heart Is (2000)
From Justin To Kelly (2003) - Fish in a barrel.
The Comebacks (2007) - Don't come back.
O Brother, Where Art Thou? (2000) - Bad call. Not my favorite Coens movie, but certainly not deserving of an F.
Georgia Rule (2007) - Lindsay went 0-for-2 in '07.
House Of The Dead (2003) - Actual quote from the review: "Clint Howard, you're too good for this."
Running Free (2000)
Halloween: Resurrection (2002) - Can't they kill the thing? I don't mean Michael Myers. I mean the franchise.
Bigger Than The Sky (2005)
A Sound of Thunder (2006) - Yeah. Butt-thunder.