You won't be surprised to learn that the majority (75%) of the shows on this list are reality/game shows. You also probably won't be surprised to learn that more shows listed come from Fox (5) than from any other network.
What will surprise you -- or should, anyway -- is that among mindless series like Temptation Island and The Swan, the idiots at EW actually included the brilliant and hilarious Beavis & Butthead. More on that after the list.
From EW.com and Voronya.
HOLE IN THE WALL (Fox)
Playing human Tetris, contestants contort themselves to fit through cutouts in a foam wall...over and over again, while shrill hosts bray ''hole'' double entendres that rarely make sense. Oh, people also fall in the water. Yeah, that's it.
Chugging chili for cash? If only it stopped there. No, Hurlers are then forcibly manhandled into spewing it back up; last one to heave wins $1,000. The only things that make sense are the hazmat suits.
Proof that dumb doesn't always mean bad. Watching mud-caked office drones bounce face-first off giant kickballs strikes the part of the funny bone where dry wit can't reach.
I LOVE MONEY (VH1)
We fully endorse dumping witless Flavor of Love, I Love New York, and Rock of Love castoffs on foreign soil, but with two fixes: (1) Find the most egregious ones (where's the girl who pooped herself?), and (2) leave them there.
THE HILLS (MTV)
We can't fathom why these people are famous. We don't understand why none of them can string two cogent thoughts together. And we really don't know why we can't change the channel when they're on.
UNDER ONE ROOF (MyNetworkTV)
Flavor Flav was the least engaging yet most ridiculous thing on his own reality programs. So it stands to reason that MyNetworkTV's giving him a scripted series (especially a hacky Fresh Prince of Bel-Air rip-off) is unwise on its face — especially with these scripts (and that face).
AMERICA'S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEOS (ABC)
The formula (groin + object = funny) is hardly advanced physics, but the unavoidable truth is that there isn't a comedian alive who wouldn't kill to make people laugh that hard.
PAM: GIRL ON THE LOOSE (E!)
Never mind that a 41-year-old still refers to herself as a girl. The lamest thing about Pammy's reality show is that for all her talk of revealing the ''real'' her, all we learn is that she really, really likes sex. Don't we already know that?
SECRET TALENTS OF THE STARS (CBS)
If the stars were any good at their secret talents, they wouldn't be secret. Thankfully, it took the network only one episode (and one country ditty from George Takei) to figure it out.
THE MOMENT OF TRUTH (Fox)
The game show in which people sit in a hot seat, submit to humiliating questions in front of loved ones, then lose cash by getting their own answers wrong. Dumbest thing ever? Only if you're dumb enough to go on it.
FEAR FACTOR (NBC)
We haggled and debated over NBC's competition series, but in the end we couldn't decide which part was the most ridiculous: the wet-your-pants stunts, Temple of Doom-style insect encounters, or host Joe Rogan.
TEMPTATION ISLAND (Fox)
Mark Walberg pulls a dumb twofer as the host of Fox's Moment of Truth and Island, in which couples subjected themselves to betrayal and humiliation as they cavorted with singles aiming to bust them up. Arguably evil, but he did it for money (which makes it okay).
CHAINS OF LOVE (UPN)
More like Chains of fools, Love's contestants were in a prison of their own making when they signed up to be shackled to strangers for up to four days on this UPN series. If only — just once — the burly Lockmaster had lost the key.
HOMEBOYS IN OUTER SPACE (UPN)
Ham-fisted writing, wooden acting, and cheesy interstellar travel — where have we seen that before? Oh right, the Muppets' delightful ''Pigs in Space.'' Only ''Pigs'' was smarter, funnier, and had better production values.
Why Jackass and not, say, The Tom Green Show? They both aimed for dumb, but Tom Green had a certain performance-art element to his inanity. The Jackass boys settled for rousing games of Nut Ball, pole-vaulting into fetid swamps, and chowing down on the ''vomit omelet.''
All kidding aside, the stabbing of host Joey Greco was horrible. But it did underscore one critical truth of reality television: The spot between the publicly shamed cheater and the TV camera isn't the smartest place to stand.
BEAVIS AND BUTT-HEAD (MTV)
Mike Judge's classic rumination on wasteoid kids stands out for being insipid, yet inspired. Beavis and Butt-head were willfully demented little pyromaniacs, but they were also potent symbols of suburban entropy. And they said ''penis'' a lot.
MAN VS. BEAST (Fox)
Oh Fox, you shameless hussies, here you are again. The beast specials degraded all involved by pitting, for example, an elephant against a cadre of little people to — actually, we're not even going to tell you what they did. It was that bad.
How insane was Aaron Spelling's short-lived nighttime soap? Picture the scene: Yasmine Bleeth walks down the aisle on her wedding day, escorted by ex-lover Casper Van Dien, to marry Casper's dad. Just as he's about to give her away, she whispers to him, ''I'm pregnant — and it's your baby.''
THE SWAN (Fox)
Why would Fox (the undisputed duke of dumb) build up its Franken-babes through extensive plastic surgery, then tear them down with a beauty pageant? Because there's nothing like carving up your face and body for a national audience, then being told you're still not pretty enough.
As for Beavis & Butthead, it's called satire, EW. Look it up in the dictionary. In the meantime, have you guys ever heard of any of the shows listed below, all better candidates than B & B for this failure of a list? Here are 25, but I could easily come up with 50.
1. American Idol
2. Home Improvement
3. I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here!
4. Keeping Up With The Kardashians
5. Denise Richards - It's Complicated
6. Celebrity Boxing
7. Paradise Hotel (and PH2)
8. Dancing With The Stars
10. According To Jim
11. The Girls Next Door
12. The Simple Life
13. Two And A Half Men
14. Kid Nation
15. Midget Nation
16. Judge Judy (and 5-6 other fake court shows I won't even count)
17. Deal Or No Deal
18. American Chopper
20. World's Wildest ______ (Police Chases, Shootouts, Police Videos, whatever)
21. My Mother The Car
22. Are You Hot?
23. Howard Stern Show
24. Love Boat: The Next Wave
25. Jerry Springer