Comedy gold from Spinderfella and Modern Mechanix
Wrist Lighter
"Excuse me, do you have the time?"
"Why yes, it's AYYYOWWWWWWW!!!!!"
Remote Smoking Apparatus
Includes a cheek clip for completely hands-free smoking
Double Smoker
Because it's just a matter of time before some butthole asks to bum a smoke. Take out the half-smoked extra and say, "Here's yours."
Vest Ash Can
Get it monogrammed for an extra touch of class
Smoker's Helper
So your pal gets pissed that you drilled a cigarette-sized hole in the end of his favorite pool cue. Fuck him. It wasn't like he was gonna be shooting pool anytime soon, what with those two broken arms.
Cigarette-Tip Ash Tray
Back when people gave a shit where they dropped their ashes
Trained Cig-Smuggling Cockroach
No big -- smokers get their cigs from vile, disease-carrying vermin all the time.
Waterproof Cigarette Paper
Now you can smoke in the shower! Thanks, Scotch-Gard(TM) !
Nudist's Cigarette Holder
You don't want to borrow his lighter, trust me.
Pipe Holster
Almost as cool as a cell phone holster
Cigarette Sharpener
Well, not really, but that's what it looks like. A cig sharpener that you can wear as a ring.
Smoke Diverter
Why breathe your own second-hand smoke when you can blow it in the direction of other diners?
Cigarette Case With Counter
Tons of uses. Keep track of how many smokes you've given away, or just count days off the end of your life.
Cigarette Factory In A Can
This handy little device stores your tobacco and rolls your cigs on command, and no, it's doesn't look ridiculous at all.
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10 comments:
Hahaha! Great as always!
i'm not a smoker but i know that some of my friends would look at these and go "i totally need that!!"
On the last one:
Does the Mister Peanut monocle come free with purchase? If so, I'm in!!!
Oh my gosh! Such craziness! My favorites were the Smoker's Helper--I'm sure they'd let you use this in any hospital today, right? And the trained cockroach--HAHAHA!! Kind of a limited target market for that one!
On the plus side, thanks for the list of great gift ideas for my step-mother-in-law's birthday coming up, Cary. She unhooks herself from her oxygen tank in the house regularly long enough to go out to the garage and smoke a cigarette (or two or three). I'm afraid to even go and visit her because I keep thinking she's going to blow up the whole house. I'm sure she'd find a way to put some of these gadgets to use.
Wow, Daisy, she's hard-core! When she gets the tracheotomy, she can just smoke through the hole in her neck.
Yeah, Cary, sadly enough, that's probably just what she'd do, and she'd continue to tell everyone(as she does now) that she's not ever giving up smoking because she enjoys it so much. She's that addicted, or that nuts, whichever. It just boggles my mind!
I once met a girl who had a pocket-sized ashtray on her. (I was looking around for an ashtray at the bar.) Impressed, I said, "Wow, you must smoke a lot." To my amazement, she said she didn't even smoke.
She ended up dating a buddy of mine, and I never let her live that down.
I didn't know Capt. Picard was a smoker!!!
(4th up from the bottom)
Burt -- are you sure it wasn't her spittoon?
Bubbasmom - HA! "Make it glow!"
I used to smoke. Ya know, the writer thingy. I am so glad I quit.
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