Friday, March 21, 2008

Stupid Celebrity Child Names

A great idea from Dana. There are lots more than I've listed here, but you get the idea. Cute kids, silly parents.

Stupid girl names

Apple (Gwyneth Paltrow & Coldplay's Chris Martin)

Blue Angel
(U2's The Edge)

Fifi Trixiebelle, Peaches Honeyblossom and Pixie (Bob Geldof)

Caledonia (Shawn Colvin)

Camera (Arthur Ashe)

Moon Unit and Diva Muffin (Frank Zappa)

Sailor Lee (Christie Brinkley)

Puma (Erykah Badu)

Memphis Eve (U2's Bono)

Rumer and Tallulah Belle (Bruce Willis & Demi Moore)

Prima Sellechia (John Tesh & Connie Selleca)

Tu (Rob Morrow)

Reignbeau (Ving Rhames)

Moxie Crimefighter (Penn Gillette of Penn & Teller)

Calico (Alice Cooper)

Lark Song (Mia Farrow)

Clementine (Cybill Shepherd)

Willow Camille Reign (Will Smith & Jada Pinkett)

Destry (Steven Spielberg and Kate Capshaw)

LaPrincia (Bobby Brown)

Heavenly Hiranna Tiger Lily - (Michael Hutchence of INXS)

Fuchsia (Sting)

Stupid boy names

Aja (Shania Twain)

Kal-El (named after Superman) (Nicolas Cage)

Banjo (Rachel Griffiths)

Audio Science (Shannyn Sossaman)

Aurelius Cy (
Elle Macpherson)

Bamboo (
Outkast's Big Boi)

Bow-Ty (50 Cent)

Dweezil and Ahmet (Frank Zappa)

Free (David Carradine & Barbara Hershey)

Jermajesty (
Jermaine Jackson)

Zowie (David Bowie)

Zolten (Penn Gillette of Penn & Teller)

Pilot Inspektor (
Jason Lee)

Racer, Rocket, Rebel and Rogue (
Robert Rodriguez). He also has a daughter, Rhiannon.

Freedom (Ving Rhames)

Denim Cole and Diezel Ky (Toni Braxton)

Seven Sirius (Andre 3000 & Erykah Badu)

Hud and Spec Wildhorse (John Cougar Mellencrap)

Atlanta (Duran Duran's John Taylor)

Thyme (Emma Thompson)

Homer James Jigme (Richard Gere & Carey Lowell)

Jett (John Travolta & Kelly Preston)

Indiana August (Casey Affleck)

Ocean (Forest Whitaker)

Jaz (Andre Agassi)

Messiah Ya'Majesty (rapper T.I.)


  1. Pilot Inspektor his dad is Jason Lee.

  2. Good lord. These make a staunch argument for my theory on Parenting Licenses.

  3. Sorry I am an ass and still a little high from my valium fest last night. Feel free to strike it from the record. By feel free I mean PRETTY PLEASE

  4. I recall a couple years ago Peaches Geldof making a plea to other celebrities to give their children normal names. She was quite impassioned in her request.

  5. Poor LaPrincia - she probably doesn't know whether to be more mortified over her name or her dad.

  6. I'm sure I know more of these, but I'll have to share later...

    For example, Bruce Willis and Demi Moore have a third daughter, named "Scout LaRue".

  7. My husband and I spent most of our pregnancy concocting the worst names we could come up with to tell people when they asked if "we'd thought of any names?" Some of these are so, so much worse than anything I could think of. Mean parents.

    I did see Big Boi on MTV Cribs and it was HILARIOUS. He was showing people his son's room and said, "This is my son's room. It's cool. His name is, like, Bamboo, or whatever." He really said "Or whatever" about his son. Maybe the name isn't Bamboo's biggest problem.

  8. Here's a link about that Peaches Geldof story.

    The worst part is that her full name is Peaches Honeyblossom Michelle Charlotte Angel Vanessa Geldof.

  9. Our daughter is named Persephone, and I just love it when people think it's one of those weird made-up names.

    I don't think Caledonia is such a bad name for a girl, and I rather like Calico. But Moxie Crimefighter? What was Penn thinking?

  10. Daves - true, those are probably the most normal names here. Still a bit pretentious, though, IMHO.

    Audra - I might. But it will cost you.

  11. Moon Unit, Diva Muffin ~ these people need to be shot. Seriously, Audio Science, they just thing they are the coolest for coming up with the stupidest names and trying to be creative with the spelling of names?
    Dweezil, really?
    LOTD - Rebecca

  12. I kinda like Willow. I'm a product of the 60s and so much wanted to use names like Sunshine or Blue or Song... but I annointed my children with uber mainstream names and am glad. That's what nicknames are for.

  13. And I grew up thinking that my given name was least I wasn't Moon Unit or a Heavenly Hiranna Tiger.

  14. Hmm..well, I really like Apple, Willow, and Rumer...but my name isn't exactly normal.

    To Reenie: I wanted to name my daughter Sunshine, too. I still love the name. :o(

  15. Lord, I thought my name was odd.


  16. my niece, who turns 9 today and says she doesn't want anything for her birthday because she already has everything she needs, is named moxie kate, and it suits her. i think it's just the 'crimefighter' part that's iffy.

  17. i think paula yates might be partially responsible for bob geldof's and michael hutchence's kids' names, since she's the mother of them all.

  18. We did the same thing, Noreen! For the six months before he was born, my husband and I told everyone we were going to name our new son Haggis. That earned us a few weird looks...

    Can I say how fun it is to see my suggestion appear on the LOTD? Cool!

  19. I remember Penn saying they choose Crimefighter as a middle name to help the girl get out of traffic tickets when she gets older.

    These names aren't so bad. Then again I live in Utah and am used to some crazy-ass baby names.

    I so wanted my friend to name her daughter Vulva Mae. I was bummed when she went with Claire.

  20. call me crazy, but there are some names on there that i actually like. given, i would never name my kid PEACHES.....but names like Memphis Eve and Caledonia are ok in my book.

  21. Caledonia, maybe, but Memphis Eve sounds like a douche made from BBQ sauce.

  22. i am sorry but if my dad named me what the dude from penn and teller named her... i would SUE!!Moxie Crimefighter? WTF kinda name is that!!!! geez!!

  23. BTW, did you catch Halle Berry's Baby's name? Nahia Ariela Aubry - What's up with that!

  24. Zowie Bowie. All I can do is shake my head.

  25. I'm currently reading "Bertha Venation" which is all about weird names of real people. It's a cute book I picked up at the local library. They have an entire chapter on weird celebrity kid names.

    Even they don't mention Hud, Speck, or Justice Mellencamp. Makes me wonder how left out TeddiJo and ESPECIALLY Michelle Mellencamp must feel.

    It all makes me feel better for naming my daughter "Constance Friend" Painie

  26. Reignbeau is the worst. Full stop.

    Oh no, wait...Jermajesty!?! Ugly, meaningless, a bad pun and hubristic (as named for dad and royalty).

    Does Diva Muffin get called Muff Diver?? Shocking.

    I wonder if Alice Cooper canvassed opinion about Calico?

    Rachel Griffith's Banjo, I think, comes from A.B. 'Banjo' Paterson, the poet who wrote 'Waltzing Matilda', 'Man from Snowy River' amongst others.

    Heath Ledger's Matilda, I guess, came from Waltzing Matilda. It is a pretty name.

  27. This isn't really so odd...after all, look at half the parents names...I think they are just trying to get even with fate and the dipshits that named them...Penn? Demi? Ving? Jermaine? Sting?

    Is that Travolta's son? The acorn doesn't fall far from the tree, does it?

  28. Cary....BBQ sauce douche??? BAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

    When I showed my daughter the picture of Jet Travolta and told her to guess his celebrity dad, she said, "Jared from Subway???"

  29. I have a couple more:
    Rebop (Todd Rundgren)
    Chorde (Snoop Dog)
    Loewy (John Malkovich)
    Zephyr (Robby Benson)
    And those are only the weird ones -- don't even get me started on pretentious...

    Jett Travolta has some kind of developmental disorder and is rarely seen out and about. His parents claim it's something caused by exposure to carpet cleaning chemicals when he was a little, but there is speculation that he is actually autistic and they aren't cool with that because in Scientology says that people with autism are "degraded beings" or some disgusting crap like that. I'm not trying to make anyone feel bad for their comments -- just thought I'd mention it. The pic on this post is one of the few times Jett has been seen in the last few years.

    Heavenly Hiranna Tiger Lily is the actually the half-sister of Fifi Trixiebelle, Peaches and Pixie -- mom was a British TV host, Paula Yates, who left Bob Geldolf to shack up with Michael Hutchence prior to his suicide. Then Yates died of a drug overdose, and Geldof, stand up guy that he is, is raising Heavenly so she can be with her sisters. Crazy-ass names for sure, but that situation sure breaks my heart!

    If you want to read more about the terrible names people inflict on their kids, I highly recommend the site, aka Baby's Named a Bad, Bad Thing. Hilarious! I'm all for creativity, but am proud to say that my kids' names are Rachel and William, about as old school as you can get :-)

  30. Two things:

    * Jett Travolta's name was chosen from an L. Ron Hubbard book. Originally Travolta said it was because he liked to fly planes, but I'm guessing it's really for the character in the Scientology guru's book.

    * MSN/Today show did something earlier this week about legitimate bad baby names. I was howling reading it, and then I thought, "How sad. People have to go through life with monikers like Harry Pitts and Ima Whore and Fanny Whiffer."

    My best friend's name is Windy (short for Windsor). We thought that was silly growing up, but now, that's nothing.

    I work at a newspaper and I've had some doozies cross my desk: LaTissue, Latrina, Jonathom, Squeaky Peanut, N8, Cinderella, Johnny Boy. Parents are cruel.

  31. Ahmet Zappa was named after Ahmet Ertegun. Not that that makes Dweezil and Moon Unit ok...

  32. Ahmet's full name is Ahmet Rodan. I never heard the Ahmet Ertegun connection--was Frank ever signed to Atlantic? Diva was named Diva because she was the loudest baby in the nursery. Before she was born Frank told people who asked what he and his wife were going to name the baby "We're going to name it John Wayne if its a boy. If its a girl we'll name her Clint Eastwood".

    Penn spells his name with a J-Jillette. I think Moxie is pretty cute for a little girl. I would think any child of Penn's would have plenty of moxie.

    John Phillips' oldest son was named Tamerlane, but in high school he changed it to Mike.
    And I hear tell that Zowie Bowie now goes by Joey.

  33. These people are as bad as my brother...and they ALL need to get a d@mn brain. I cant believe what he named my nieces....Zoie Allison Lee Melis (wont say last name), And Minuet Sunflower (wont say last name)Poor Zoie needs a sheet of paper just to write her name, and Minuet...what the hell does that mean.

  34. talula does the hula from hawaii, is another,oh and,number 16 bus shelter,is another too.

  35. I don't mind Willow or Aurelius, though I'd hold off on bestowing the latter on anyone.

  36. Robert Rodriguez sounds like he has a pack of dogs! They should be grateful they weren't called

    Dasher, Dancer, Prancer and Vixen!!

  37. How about these stupid names....Dakota,Lark or Aspen? WtF?



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