Wow. That joke sucked. So I direct you to the ironic name of the reporter for a laugh.
Many thanks to Karen for the link.
Man caught masturbating outside new Wal-Mart
by Catie O'Toole
Monday March 10, 2008, 11:45 AM
Oswego County, NY - Not everyone who attended Wal-Mart Supercenter's grand opening this weekend was there to shop.
Several people called the Oswego County 911 Center sometime after 8 p.m. Sunday after seeing a man masturbating in a pickup truck in the parking lot of the new Wal-Mart on state Route 3 in Granby, state police said. When troopers arrived, they found John D. Gates masturbating in the passenger's seat of his 1991 Ford Ranger pick-up truck.
"Arriving patrols found Gates sitting in the passenger seat of his vehicle while he was still attempting to complete the act," state police said in an e-mail. "Gates was in plain view of customers that were leaving the store."
Gates, of 3296 Main St., Mexico, was arrested on the following charges: Public lewdness, criminal possession of a controlled substance (possessing hydrocodone tablets without a prescription) and unlawful possession of marijuana.
Here's a photo of the little chicken-choker...