Sunday, December 23, 2007

But Wait, There's More! (Nativities Gone Awry)

Today we have... yes... Nativitywear! Also from Cavalcade of Bad Nativities.

This Nativity sweater makes the perfect Christmas gift for that special soccer mom or step-aunt on your list.

The rich dark color and fine detail of this hand-sewn Nativity sweater makes it a natural choice for an evening of caroling or delivering Christmas treats to your neighbors or bridge group.

Men, we've got you covered, too. Show your holiday spirit at work with these one-of-a-kind "Nativi-ties" from The Salvation Army collection at JC Penney.

This unisex Nativity jacket is rugged but handsome, and ideal for hunting, fishing, chopping wood or slaughtering a Christmas hen. Then brush it off and wear it to Christmas Eve worship services, because it's versatile as well.

The Nativity belt buckle. A bold but stylish choice for men, and it fits most Farah and Dockers (R) brand belts.

Hurry! Supplies are limited for this QVC exclusive Nativity sweater from the Linda Evans Collection.

A bit more low key than the other Nativity sweaters, but just as lovely, and with its own sewn-in faux satin turtleneck. Class and style at an affordable price.

Nativity Scenes Gone Horribly Awry

There's a line in the great Woody Allen movie, Hannah And Her Sisters, where a character says, "If Jesus came back today, he'd never stop throwing up." Why? Because of crap like this.

All photos (and a couple of the jokes) from Cavalcade of Bad Nativities. Many thanks to LOTD regular Todd for the link.

Mr. Bill Nativity. Oh nooooooooooooo!

O Little Village Of The Damned...

Owl Nativity. Whoooo, whoooo, whoooose child is this?

Nativity Ball 'n' Paddles. Hit the baby Jesus and you lose a turn.

Tonight on CMT, it's Christmas At The Grand Ole Opry! Starring The Dixie Chicks, Rascal Flatts and Loretta Lynn! With special guest star, the baby Jesus!

Nativity S'mores. Eat one. I dare you.

Santa wasn't at the birth of Jesus, you dummies. He was delivering gifts!

King Herod's always after me Lucky Charms!

Naked Troll Nativity

The Jesus In The Plastic Bubble

The Nativity Egg Timer. Counting down the minutes to your arrival in Hell.

Nativity Snowmen. Better get baby Jesus into a refrigerated boxcar before He melts.

Giant Inflatable Nativity. Nothing tells your neighbors "We're religious freaks!" quite like it.

Nativity Candle, with the delicate aroma of livestock and childbirth.

Jawa Nativity. "The Force is strong with this one."

Nativity Spinning Ornament. Pull the tassel and 'round she goes. Classy!

He looks like he's gonna high-dive into the crib.

Hobbit Nativity. The one ring -- uh, king -- to rule them all.

Precious Moments Nativity, featuring Baby Jesus with supersized feet.

I never saw an angel with horns before.

Even the dogs know this is wrong.

Away in a bathtub, no crib for a bed...

Angel's feathery wings also light up. Always trying to steal the spotlight from little Jesus.

Santa: "So, have you been a good little boy this year?"

Holy hairballs, it's Nativity Cats!

Nativity Chickens

Nativity Cuckoo Clock. Perfect for a sleeping infant.

Why so glum, Nativity Bears? You were hoping for a fish?

Peace on Earth.. or whatever planet you come from.

Now kids, don't fight over the chocolate Jesus. I'm making another batch.

Nativity Bean Bag Toss. Yeah, throw stuff at Jesus, Mary and Joseph. Great idea.

Eskimo Nativity. Instead of camels, the Wise Men arrived by dog sled.

Joseph: "YES! Father of the Messiah. WOOT!"

We saved the worst for last... the Celebrity Nativity from Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum in London. Featuring Samuel L. Jackson, Hugh Grant and Graham Norton as shepherds; David and Victoria Beckham as Joseph and Mary; Kylie Minogue as an angel; Tony Blair, Prince Philip and George Bush as -- ha! -- Wise Men.

I once saw a version of Davinci's The Last Supper that had movie stars in place of the apostles: Marilyn Monroe, James Dean, W.C. Fields, Charlie Chaplin, etc. Elvis Presley was Jesus. This reminds me of that painting.


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