Thursday, July 5, 2007

The Dramatic Chipmunk

For the six of us left on the planet who had not seen it yet.



Yeah, I know it's not a chipmunk (it's a groundhog) but I didn't make up the name, Percy Nickety.

Here's how it has evolved.


Classic TV Show Open of The Day

The special effects really sell it, don't you think?

"That Guy"

You've seen them a thousand times, but I bet you can't name one of them... until now. (Thanks, Seth, for the links)

William Fichtner

Where you've seen him: Armageddon, Pearl Harbor, Prison Break, Black Hawk Down, The Perfect Storm
You might have missed him in: Malcolm X, as "Cop at Harlem station"
To me, he'll always be: the creepy alien sheriff in the short-lived ABC suckfest, Invasion
A poor man's... Kevin Bacon

Joaquim de Almeida

Where you've seen him: 24, Clear And Present Danger, Desperado, Behind Enemy Lines
You might have missed him in: Everything he's ever done except 24 or Clear And Present Danger
To me, he'll always be: the bad guy in Clear And Present Danger
A poor man's... Al Pacino with an accent but without all the yelling

J.K. Simmons

Where you've seen him: Spider-Man, Thank You For Smoking, every Law & Order series ever made
You might have missed him in: The Dale Earnhardt Story
To me, he'll always be: neo-Nazi Vern Schillinger in Oz, who burned a swastika into poor Lee Tergesen's butt-cheeks
A poor man's... Ed Harris, sans flannel

Noah Emmerich

Where you've seen him: Miracle, Cop Land, Melrose Place
You might have missed him in: If Someone Had Known, starring Kellie Martin. Tuesday night at 9 on Lifetime.
To me, he'll always be: Jim Carrey's fake friend in The Truman Show
A poor man's... chemically burned Jon Favreau (and a cinch to make the next installment of my Celebrity Skin Club)

Stephen Tobolowski

Where you've seen him: Memento, Thelma & Louise, Deadwood, CSI: Miami
You might have missed him in: Alien Fury: Countdown to Invasion
To me, he'll always be: Ned Ryerson, insurance salesman and punching bag for Bill Murray in Groundhog Day.
A poor man's... William H. Macy

James Cromwell

Where you've seen him
: Where haven't you seen him?
To me, he'll always be: Stretch Cunningham on All In The Family
You might have missed him in: Birth Of A Nation (1915), as Lillian Gish's grandpa
A poor man's... James Cromwell

J.T. Walsh

Where you've seen him
: nowhere lately; he died in 1998. Before that he was in Pleasantville, Good Morning Vietnam, Narrow Margin, A Few Good Men, Breakdown, and more.
You might have missed him in: anything since 1998
To me, he'll always be: Karl's creepo asylum mate in Sling Blade, the ironically named Charles Bushman, a convicted murderer with a professed penchant for a certain feature of the female anatomy, and a guy you'd love to see get "two good whacks" from any sharp instrument Karl could get his hands on.
A poor man's... evil Beau Bridges

Danny Trejo

Where you've seen him
: Heat, Con Air, Desperado
You might have missed him in: From Dusk Till Dawn 3: The Hangman's Daughter
To me, he'll always be: fuckin' scary
A poor man's... Manuel Noriega

David Morse

Where you've seen him
:
Proof of Life, 12 Monkeys, The Rock, The Green Mile
You might have missed him in: The Hugh Grant thriller, Extreme Measures
To me, he'll always be: Jodie Foster's dad in Contact ("Small moves, Sparks. Small moves.")
A poor man's... Russell Crowe

Richard Jenkins

Where you've seen him
: Me, Myself & Irene; Intolerable Cruelty; There's Something About Mary
You might have missed him in: Blue Steel, but I didn't, because that's my favorite Ron Silver movie ever
To me, he'll always be: Nathaniel Fisher in Six Feet Under, getting flattened by a dump truck in the very first episode. Luckily for him, the show featured ghosts.
A poor man's... Tommy Lee Jones

Tom Wilkinson

Where you've seen him: Batman Begins, Rush Hour, Shakespeare In Love, In The Bedroom
You might have missed him in: The Ghost And The Darkness, which also describes the theaters where that movie played.
To me, he'll always be: Dr. Mierzwiak, founder of Lacuna Corp. in Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind
A poor man's... Jon Voight

John C. Reilly

Where you've seen him
: Talladega Nights, Magnolia, The Perfect Storm, For The Love Of The Game, Chicago
You might have missed him in: The short-lived TV series Martial Law, co-starring Arsenio Hall, and created by Lost co-exec producer, Carlton Cuse.
To me, he'll always be: Reed Rothchild, a.k.a. Chest Rockwell, in Boogie Nights
A poor man's... Will Farrell

Keith David

Where you've seen him
: There's Something About Mary, ATL, Barbershop, Men At Work, Dead Presidents
You might have missed him in: Disco Godfather
To me, he'll always be: Charlie Sheen's squad mate in Platoon
A poor man's... Louis Gossett, Jr.

Lane Smith

Where you've seen him
:
As the prosecutor in My Cousin Vinny
You might have missed him in: The Mighty Ducks, Lois & Clark, Son In Law, The Legend of Bagger Vance and a bunch of other shit nobody watched
To me, he'll always be: Roy Hamlin in Hart To Hart. Ok, not really. I saw that on IMdb.
A poor man's... Gene Hackman with better hair

Peter Stormare

Where you've seen him
: Prison Break, Constantine (as Beelzebub himself), Minority Report
You might have missed him in: Larmar Och Gor Sig Till (Sweden's Maid in Manhattan)
To me, he'll always be: "So I guess that's your partner there in the wood chipper, eh?"
A poor man's... Eurotrash Bruce Willish

Philip Baker Hall

Where you've seen him
: Every movie or TV show you've ever watched in your entire life
You might have missed him in: Every movie or TV show you haven't watched in your entire life
To me, he'll always be: Videotape advocate Floyd Gondolli in Boogie Nights, or game-show host/child molester/cancer victim Jimmy Gator in Magnolia
A poor man's... Michael Caine, American version

Zeljko Ivanek

Where you've seen him
: Oz, 24, CSI, Law & Order, Cold Case, and every other law-enforcement show ever made, with the exception of T.J. Hooker and Reno 911.
You might have missed him in: Lost, as Juliet's husband, in only two scenes before he catches a bus without waiting for it to stop.
To me, he'll always be: something unpronounceable
A poor man's... Pezqvlbluw Klpaxnblzela

Will Patton

Where you've seen him
: Armageddon, The Client, The Rapture, Copycat
You might have missed him in: Road House 2: Last Call
To me, he'll always be: Scott Pritchard, psychotic fop/chief of staff to Gene Hackman's Secretary of Defense in No Way Out
A poor man's... John Malkovich

William Sanderson

Where you've seen him: Deadwood, Lonesome Dove, Fletch, Blade Runner
You might have missed him in: Man's Best Friend with Ally Sheedy
To me, he'll always be: Larry (of Larry, Darryl and Darryl) in Newhart
A poor man's... Marlon Brando


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