Wednesday, March 19, 2008

George Carlin's Dirty Words List: Penis

Words for penis, compiled by George Carlin. My favorites in yellow.

aaron's rod
baby-maker
beef
blue vein meatroll
bald-headed butler
bald-headed mouse
belly buster
bathtub eel
bearded blood sausage
bird bone
baloney
banana
bat
bayonet
bean tosser
blade
broomstick
bum tickler
bush beater
cock
carrot
crack haunter
cranny hunter
cracksman
creamstick
culty gun
carnal stump
child-getter
dick
dork
dong
doniker
dingus
dipstick
dagger
dart of love
dearest member
dickey
ding-dong
dinger
dingle-dangle
dummy
dodaddy
dolly
dooflicker
down-leg
dragon
eel
family organ
fiddle bow
fish
fishing rod

flapper
fool-sticker
forefinger
foreman
gun
gut wrench
giggle stick
gadget
gardener
giggling pin
gooser (gooser? I barely know her!)
gravy maker

grinding tool
gristle
gut stick

hair splitter
hambone
hammer
hanging johnny
hoe
handle
holy poker
horn
hose
hot rod
heat-seeking moisture missle
hairy hot dog
jack in the box
jemson
jerking iron
jigger
jing hang
jockam
johnnie
johhny one-eye, the bald-headed champ
johnson
joy knob
joy stick
kidney cracker (gross but funny)
kielbasa
knob
knocker
ladies' lollipop
lamp of life
lance
life preserver
little brother
little willie
liver turner
live sausage
lizard
lob
lobcock
lobster of love
lollypop
long john
love dart
love gun
magic wand
man-root
marrow bone
master john thursday
master of ceremonies
meat
meat hook
meat whistle
member
merry maker
middle leg
milkman
mister goodwrench
mister tom
mouse
natural scythe
nimrod
noodle
noony
old blind rob
one-eyed night crawler in the turtle neck sweater
one-eyed milkman
one-eyed trouser trout
one-eyed wonder worm
pant muscle
pecker
pee-pee
peter
pike staff
pile driver
pin
pink
pencil
pipe

pisser
pistol
plugtail
pocket piccolo
pocket rocket
pointer
poker
pole
pork
pork sword
post
prick
pride and joy
prong
pud
pudding
pump handle
purple-helmeted warrior of love
pup
putz
quickening peg
quimstake
ram
ramrod
rawmeat
reamer
redcap
rod
rod of love
rolling pin
root rudder
rupert russell the wonder muscle
st. peter
salami
sausage
sceptre
schlong
sexing piece
shaft
shmock
short arm
shove devil
shvontz
silent flute
skin flute
snake
spigot
spindle
split-rump

spout
staff
steaming hot kanga
stump
sugar stick
tally-whacker
tassel
tent-peg
thing
third leg
throbber
throbbing python of love
tickle-gizzard
tickler
tong
tool
torch of cupid
toy
trap-stick
trouser snake
tube steak
uncle dick
vomiting cobra
wand
wang
wazoo
weapon
wedge
wheenie
wacker
whip
whistle
whore-pipe
wick
willie
winkle
wire
womb ferret
womb weasel
worm
yang
yard
yosh
zubrick

22 comments:

  1. I think what disturbs me most about this list is that he narrates Thomas the Tank engine and knows that many words for penis.

    I guess I should feel lucky that he didn't use Thomas the Tank Engine as one of them lol

    ReplyDelete
  2. Audra, that's what I call mine.. Thomas The Tank Engine. My wife calls it The Little Engine That Couldn't.

    ::: rim shot :::

    Thank you. I'll be here all week.

    ReplyDelete
  3. In line with kidney cracker, my friends and I always referred to this one very well-endowed gentleman I dated as the "Kidney Scraper".

    ReplyDelete
  4. Reen, good question. He also left off "Wet Weasel" and "Ham Cannon."

    ReplyDelete
  5. Ham cannon! The funniest thing I've heard today!

    A couple of favorites (funnier w/beer):
    The room mate
    A baby's arm holding an apple

    ReplyDelete
  6. we affectionately call it "Hard Hat Peenie"

    ReplyDelete
  7. Here a few:
    - Mr. Johnson
    - Mini Me
    - The Anal-yzer
    - Payton Manning
    - Willy the One-eyed Wonder Worm
    - The Peacemaker
    - My Little Louisville Slugger aka Little Louie
    - The Leprechaun of Love
    - The Love Boat

    ReplyDelete
  8. I call mine "Little Elvis" and/or "Mr. Veiny"

    ReplyDelete
  9. I take issue with "baby maker"..."baby starter" is more like it!

    (and no, I'm not a cranky pregnant woman)

    ReplyDelete
  10. We men always like to take credit for the things our wives do, don't we?

    ReplyDelete
  11. i have a nickname for my penis.




    its called "the octagon"

    ReplyDelete
  12. batter splat-er

    clam digger

    ReplyDelete
  13. I heard that the singer T-Pain calls his the One-Eyed Monster!

    ReplyDelete
  14. I know mine as the "mistake maker"

    ReplyDelete
  15. "russell the love muscle" is another

    ReplyDelete
  16. Super duper pooper scooper
    The womping willow
    King Shlong
    Lol just thought of those

    ReplyDelete

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